


Toy Boy

by specifiedtrash



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:22:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specifiedtrash/pseuds/specifiedtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanon does something drastic to get Leon's love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for ages... I've really wanted to put it together, and it's a little sloppy right now, but I plan to come back after finishing it and fixing it up. It follows Leon's thoughts more than the actual events, which is intentional. In hindsight, it might not be the best way of telling a story, but I still had fun trying something new for this one. It does have an ending and will be updated every now and then, they are actually working towards a finale and there's hints at it here and there, but for now, just enjoy my self-indulgent garbage haha

For years, Leon had had a stalker. Both of them were fine with it, strange as it might seem, because they were cousins. Leon didn't mind spending time with the girl he saw like a little sister, and hell, if she paid him extra compliments and boosted his ego around other girls, who was he to argue?

They'd been talking about his current girlfriend a lot, lately. He said, with hearts in his eyes, that he'd told her he loved her. Kanon had smiled and said she was happy for him, through grit teeth. Later, he'd asked Kanon to help him pick out a ring.

"Why?" She'd asked, through a broken heart. All his life he'd said that he was too rock 'n roll for just one girl. That he'd never be tied down. He was a rolling stone. He didn't want a ball and chain. The metaphors just kept coming. His dream was piles of groupies, a new one in his bed each night, picking up fangirls after concerts and letting them ride in his limosine. Hundreds of them, eating out of the palm of his hand. And here he was, asking his best friend in the world to help him pick out rings.

"I wanna give it to Sayaka."

Kanon's heart shattered, and she actually clutched her chest from the pain. But she forced a smile anyway, showing teeth through the agony, fighting the tears as she said yes, of course she would help him pick.

His smile broke her heart all over. He was so excited, so happy to be with this girl that wasn't her.

She had to do something drastic, before he was lost to her forever.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Leon woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. It wasn't the usual sleepy early-morning-hate-my-alarm-clock kind of grogginess, either. His mouth felt dry and his head was pounding. But perhaps more strange than that, was that he had no recollection of falling asleep in the first place. He was just spending time with his cousin, she'd made him some tea while he waited for her to get ready to go, and he'd talked to her through a closed door while she got changed. Fuzzy memories of flipping through a magazine. Something about Kanon wanting to read the tea leaves, so he had to drink it all...

Ow. His head was splitting. He wet his lips and rolled his jaw to shake off the dry mouth, and lifted a hand to hold his head.

Or he would've, if his hand didn't meet resistance. He tried to shake off the cloud in his head and see what was holding his hand back. Both hands. They were bound together, behind his back and anchored on the floor so low he couldn't stand up. Alarm felt delayed getting to his mind, through the heavy fog of confusion he couldn't manage to shake. How had that happened? How did he get here? Where exactly _was_ here?

Just to answer his questions, a door ahead of him opened, shooting a beam of painfully bright light at his face. He cringed away from it and squinted at who had opened it.

"I thought I'd heard you waking up!" It was a girl's voice, clearly excited to see him. Didn't he know that voice? "You were out way longer than I'd thought... Seriously _choberiba!!_ I was _so_ worried!" Seriously _what?_ He suddenly realized who it was, just as his eyes adjusted to the light and she came into proper focus.

"Kanon? Shit, so glad it's you... What happened? Where are we?" She sighed in response, and her face seemed troubled.

"I'm sorry, Big Brother... I had to do something. The thought of losing you is too much!"

"Huh?" She sat down beside him, and hugged her arms around his neck.

"I can't lose you, I _can't!_ " What was going on? The strange fog was starting to lift, understanding just within reach. Kanon wasn't untying him, she was just... "I love you _so_ much, Big Brother. I'd _die_ for you, and you were going to ask another girl to _marry_ you! It hurt _so_ much!" Her hug tightened. "But now it's okay. Now you can stay with me all the time, and it's okay." She pulled back, smiling through tears and holding the side of his face in one hand.

"Kanon... Did you... Did you tie my hands?"

"I'm sorry, but if I didn't, you'd run away from me. We both know I can't run as fast as you, Big Brother." She pressed a kiss against his cheek, and he leaned away from it, until his head bumped against the wall behind him.

"You... This is illegal! Let me go!" Leon yanked at the ties on his hands, and Kanon just backed up to avoid getting an elbow in the face. It was pointless. Now that things were clearing up better, he could tell it was actually a chain, with a pair of thick cuffs to shackle his hands. There was no way he'd be able to rip it.

"I wish I didn't have to do this... But you forced me to! I didn't have a _choice!_ "

"What're you saying?! Let me go! I don't want to stay here, I wanna go home! Sayaka must be worried sick about me! Shit, what do you _want?!_ "

"I want _you,_ Big Brother."

"Fuck off! Open these _right now,_ or I'm never gonna speak to you again! This isn't funny, Kanon!"

She got to her feet, eyes on him and expression unreadable. Then, while he continued to struggle with the chain behind him, Kanon turned on her heel and walked back to the door. "Kanon? Kanon, wait! Unlock this!"

Click. The door shut behind her, leaving him alone in the dimly lit room. He continued to struggle and yell at the door, for what must've been at least an hour, before his throat was sore and he was bored of getting no response. He didn't know if she was even within earshot anymore.

This room wasn't familiar. He honestly had no idea where he was. It might be her basement, it might be a shed in her backyard, it might be totally removed from her home. He had no clue. It was sparcely decorated, though a poster of one of his favourite bands hung on the wall, and a few other things he liked were left on the floor near him. A couple of his favourite movies, DVDs of shows he liked, a pillow and blanket with a baseball print on it. To his right was a mattress, and on it were a few other blankets, and though she'd made the bed neatly, it still looked cheap and simple. He grimaced at the realization that she'd planned this and set it up, just for him, and he had no idea it was coming. How could he be so stupid?

He looked around the room with chills on his spine. All things he liked, all his favourites. She knew him so well. After a while, he groaned and flopped over to his side, landing with his head on the pillow and face buried into it. His head felt clearer now, but his stomach was still rolling over itself. The distance from the pillow to where his hands were bound was just perfect. How could she possibly have known something like that? He squirmed and pointed his face at the door.

It must've been half an hour or more before the door clicked, and he was still staring at it when it did. His ears pricked and he lifted his face. Kanon peeked around the door at him.

"Big Brother..."

He quietly stared back at her. His mouth was dry, throat was sore, and his arms were starting to cramp up. Kanon sighed and stepped in, holding a plate in one hand, and a clear glass in the other, full of orange juice. His favourite. He watched her walk closer, set the plate down, and kneel in front of him.

"Are you going to yell at me again?"

He looked at the plate. It was still steaming hot, and the smell of fresh food was making him hungrier than he was before.

"If you eat something, you'll feel better. Your stomach will settle."

Leon looked away from the food, up to Kanon's face. He shifted his hands so she'd hear the chain rattle.

"I can't."

Kanon gave a mournful look to his wrists, reached forward and lightly touched his fingers. He swallowed, but kept still, waiting for her to unlock his hands.

"Can you sit up for me?"

Assuming it was to unlock him, he squirmed to get back upright, and twisted to let her at the lock. But she just held the glass up to his lips, and lightly tipped it back. He was thirsty enough to let her. But after a moment, she lowered it, and set it down, picking up the plate and chopsticks instead.

Admittedly, he felt much better from just having a drink.

"Lemme do it myself," he tipped his head away from the food she was lifting to his mouth. Kanon gave him a sad look.

"You have to eat something."

"I don't want you to feed me, just untie me, please. Let me do it myself."

Kanon looked like she was about to cry. Her eyes glassed over and quivered.

"I can't. I'm sorry, I can't, you'll leave me if I do!"

"I won't! Just let me do it myself!"

Tears overflowed and she shook her head violently.

"You will! You always say I'm important to you, but you don't want me around you! You say you'll give me a chance, but only if I do something impossible first!"

Leon didn't know what to do. He wanted to get out of here, to have some food, go home and see Sayaka again. At least tell her he was alright. Soon she'd be worried sick, if she wasn't already.

"Kanon- let me go! I don't wanna stay here like this! Don't you want me to be happy? Don't you care at all about me? This isn't okay! Let me go! Do it or I'll never talk to you again!"

She just kept shaking her head as the tears spilled over. The chopsticks fell from her hands, and the piece of food on the end splashed back into the plate. Her hands were trembling when she dropped the plate and held her head.

"Choberiba-! You wouldn't speak to me if I did that! I'd be the weirdo freak that loved you so much it was insane! Please, Big Brother, don't say that to me! I love you so much! So, so much! So much it hurts!"

"Then let me go! Shit, at least let me feed myself!"

She was a wreck. Anyone could bully her at school, any number of terrible names or even physical violence. But one harsh word from Leon, and she caved in on herself. She got to her feet through sobs, and bolted to the door. "Kanon, wait! Get back here!" The chain clinked behind him and pulled his wrists and shoulders, disallowing him to chase after her. In frustration, he gave them a violent yank. "Damnit! Kanon!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

Several hours passed. After a time, he'd gotten docile again, leaning against the wall and sulking as he stared at the food he couldn't reach. The glass of orange juice was barely touched, and the meal she'd prepared smelled so good it felt like torture to just sit in the room close to it. He'd tried to reach it, laying on his front and leaning as close as he could, pulling his arms until they hurt, but it was still out of reach. Pulling it closer with his foot was pointless, too. He'd overestimated how far it was, and wound up kicking it farther away by mistake. He felt nauseous and miserable, and even if he was with someone that cared so much about him, it did nothing to soften the blow.

When she finally returned, he glared back at her. She grimaced and avoided looking him in the eye, just picked up the plate, and turned to leave. Leon gave up on glaring and straightened his posture.

"Wait- don't leave." Kanon stopped, but didn't turn back to face him, only a slight head tilt to show she was listening. "Don't leave." But after a short pause, she resumed her walk, and took his food with her. Dammit. Dammit, _dammit!_ He slammed a fist on the floor in frustration, causing a loud jostle of the chain but not much else. He whined and fell back against the wall. This had to be some kind of nightmare. His stomach was killing him. Not to mention, he had no idea how long he'd been here, or even if anyone would be missing him yet. It felt like hours, but... How could he tell? There was no clock in here, and he didn't feel his phone in his pocket.

But he heard footfalls approach, and the smell of food returning. He shook his head and watched her return, holding the same plate, now visibly steaming. She'd just gone and microwaved it for him. He never thought he'd get so emotional over something so trivial, but it was one of the best things he'd ever seen. Kanon brought it close to him, again, kneeling beside him and picking up the chopsticks in one hand. She looked at him expectantly, and slowly held up a bite for him. As much as he hated it... He opened his mouth and bit it off the utensil. Flavour filled his mouth and he relaxed as he chewed. Damn... He opened his mouth again and snapped another bite when she offered it. They continued for a while like that, until he noticed she was smiling at him. He looked up at her while he chewed a mouthful of tofu and carrot.

"... What?"

Kanon laughed, and he saw a distinct pink tint to her cheeks, like something from a cartoon.

"You're just so cute!"

"Huh?"

"Like a puppy I can't feed fast enough!"

Admittedly, he _had_ been thinking she wasn't going fast enough, but now he was embarrassed at how eager he was to have something to eat. He said nothing while she laughed, impatiently waiting for her to hold up another bite already. She was too slow, but he forced himself to slow down, to avoid giving her the pleasure.

When he'd finished it off, Kanon set the plate down, and found the glass of orange juice. Though she gave him a few chances to stop and break for air, he gulped it down without pause, and sighed when it was gone. He felt much better. More energy, more alert, even his nausea had calmed down, like she'd said it would. Kanon set the dishes aside and rested her head on his shoulder, one hand on his chest. He grimaced and jostled his shoulder to knock her away.

"Get off, I don't like you that way." No amount of imprisonment could change his mind. This was his cousin. Being cuddled like that felt gross and weird. Kanon let him go, looking dejected, but obedient.

"Big Brother..." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I love you. Do you know that? I love you so much." Leon avoided eye contact.

"I dunno what you're talkin' about."

Kanon's heart broke, he could see it in his peripherals, but he refused to let himself look directly at her face.

"Do you want to sleep?"

He slowly looked at her.

"Sleep?"

Kanon nodded.

"It's past midnight. You slept all day yesterday, too."

The time sent a shock through him. Past midnight... _A day later?_   No wonder he'd been so hungry.

He rarely stayed out this late, and never without at least mentioning where he was. Maizono must be calling everywhere by now. She'd be so worried, leaving a hundred voicemails on his phone, demanding he call back right now to tell her he was safe. He could almost hear her voice scolding him for not saying where he had gone.

"Sayak-aaah..!" He dragged out the last syllable, dropping his head back against the wall and whining out her name. Kanon stayed quiet while he complained. "I wanna be with Sayaka! I wanna go back to our bed and be with my girl again!" Shit, he thought he might start crying. He didn't want to be here. His hands were sore and uncomfortable, his legs were feeling numb from sitting so long, and his cousin kept trying to force her love on him. He missed home. Kanon seemed hurt.

"I think you've had a busy day, is all..." She murmured, with a palpable venom in her words. "It's time to go to bed, Big Brother." Such an authourity was unfamiliar in her voice. She took the baseball-printed blanket off the floor and unfolded it. "Lay down and I'll tuck you in for the night." Leon looked over at the mattress, then at Kanon, pleading with his eyes that she not make him sleep on that thing.

"Just let me go home," he quietly begged, sounding pathetic even to his own ears. Kanon looked back at the mattress, then at the chain behind him, and shook her head.

"Choberiba... It's not long enough. I wanted to have more time to set everything up, but you just had to go ring shopping _today._ Don't hate me, okay? Just one night, maybe two. But that's all, promise!"

"... Hah? You're makin' me sleep on the _floor?!_ "

"It's alright, I'll stay with you! The whole night, on the floor with you!"

"I'd rather be alone!" Choberiba was right. He whined and flopped back against the pillow again. It slid on the floor a little ways, just slightly too far from where his hands were tied to be comfortable. He ignored it and groaned into the pillow. Within seconds, something draped over his back, and he realized it must be the blanket. Then, a soft kiss in his hair.

"Goodnight, Big Brother. I love you."

In reply, he just grunted into the pillow. The lights in his room were dim to begin with, but he hadn't realized how much of a difference they made until she flicked them off. He heard a door click shut, and lifted his head a little ways. Complete blackness. The kind of dark that would make anyone dizzy to look at for too long, the kind that made up seem down and left seem forwards. He swallowed and slowly rested his head back down. It was unsettling to sleep in any unfamiliar place, but this place hardly helped put his mind at ease. He wanted to rest his arms in front of himself, maybe hug his pillow, anything. But they remained firmly fastened together, behind his back, and any movement in his hands just caused noise that startled him and kept him from sleep.

It seemed like about half an hour, before he felt an odd stroking sensation in his hair. He blinked a few times, to realize the room was lit again, and the image that blurred into focus was a close-up of Kanon's face. On reflex, he pulled away with a sharp inhale. What had happened? Had he fallen asleep? He didn't feel at all rested.

"Good morning, Big Brother," she chimed, through a smile and followed by a girlish laugh. He scrambled to get to his feet, but had a rude reminder of his situation that yanked his shoulders down and forced him to just sit instead. "Hey, calm down, you'll get a head rush if you stand so abruptly!" Damn this chain... It was just barely too short to allow him to stand comfortably, so he would be forced to bend his knees if he wanted to be on his feet, and he wouldn't be able to do that for too long at a time. He rested his head against the wall and moped, thinking about what Sayaka would be doing right now. Shaking his shoulder and telling him to wake up already, with a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth and her hair a natural disaster. It always managed to point in every direction. Palm trees after a hurricane. Then, there were the odd times when he'd have woken up first, and gotten a moment to see her looking so calm and peaceful, usually with her head rested on his chest. He'd lean forward and kiss the top of her head, which would wake her up, but she always had a moment of drowsiness. For a little while, she faded into the day, nuzzled up against him, stretched out her legs and given a tiny kitten's yawn. Sometimes she'd hug him tighter and smile into him, sometimes she'd look up and tell him good morning. Once in a while, she'd squirm and kiss his face, tell him about the dream she had, reach a hand under the blanket and say she wanted to make it a reality. Her thigh would pull up and rest on his middriff, he'd trace it back to her body and nudge her onto her back with a kiss and smile, then she'd-

Kanon giggled. The contented smile vanished from Leon's face as reality returned. "Did you have a good dream? You seemed so happy!" He slowly nodded at his cousin.

"About Sayaka."

Kanon's smile faded.

"... I see. I can't stay for too long today, I have to go out for a while, but I'll come back to give you lunch. Is that okay?"

Leon whined.

"No, it's not okay. Why won't you let me _go?_ "

"If you keep saying that, I'll have to... to..."

"To what?"

"I'll think of some way to punish you for it! That's a really rude thing to say! You don't have to pay rent, or work, or even prepare your own meals, so you really need to stop being so mean to me!"

"Kanon... I just wanna go home."

"You _are_ home. Just get used to it, alright?" She puffed out her cheeks like a child, and he looked back at her in exhasperation. He wanted so badly to go home and tell Sayaka he was okay. At the very least... Kanon surely wouldn't hurt him. Not physically, anyway. Kanon puffed out her breath. "Is there something you want me to bring you? A movie? Some posters you want? Maybe you want something specific for lunch?"

"I just wanna go home."

Kanon sighed.

"I know this seems bad now, but I promise it'll get better, okay? Just be good and stay with me. I love you." She leaned forward to kiss him, and he turned his face away from it, only to find himself pinned against the wall. He sank towards the floor and tried to absorb his face into his shirt. Pointless, of course, she kissed his cheek and got to her feet. "If you decide you want something, just tell me when I come back later, okay? I left you some water, make sure you stay hydrated!" With that, and a twirl of her skirt, she left the room.

The water she'd left, as it turned out, was a large sports waterbottle, with a straw built into it so he could still drink it without his hands. It was humiliating. He felt like a hamster with no other choice but to lick the bottle strapped to the side of his cage. His body was sore from sleeping on the ground, and he couldn't even rub out the kinks in his shoulders.

There wasn't much to do, when Kanon wasn't there. Sure, the room had plenty of things he enjoyed- a stack of CDs beside the DVDs he'd noticed earlier, and between them, a stand with a TV on it, and a game system behind the stand's glass door. Nothing fancy, but enough to keep him entertained. There were no windows, he noticed, and the wallpaper was an uninviting grey colour. A few more pillows were piled near the mattress, something he would've liked to have had for the night prior. He waited. Looked around the room some more. Waited. Drank some water. Waited.

Most of his time, he occupied by thinking of his friends and family. Any moment he'd hear that same click, only instead of Kanon, it would be Mondo that opened it. He'd yell that he found him, that he was alive, and Sayaka would rush in and hold him. Then his parents would appear in the doorway, his mom would kiss his face over and over and say how she was so worried about her baby boy, while his dad waited his turn to hug his son and apologise for every time he'd ever yelled at his li'l slugger. They'd free his hands and take him away, take him home, and he'd get to walk back through his own threshold, holding Sayaka's hand and giving her a smile of relief. He sighed into his daydream, repeating their faces over and over when they walked in and saw him.

When the door clicked, he gave it a hopeful look, a portion of him actually expecting it to be his best friend with an entire biker gang at his heels.

Instead, it was his cousin. The hope faded from his eyes, and he slouched. She'd brought a take-out box, generic white styrofoam, but it smelled good. She smiled as she brought it closer to him, and he was too busy looking at the box and trying to identify that scent to realize she was getting too close. She sat in his lap before he'd realized he could've moved away, and now, her weight was already pinning him down. She didn't acknowledge it, just opened the container, and pulled the cheap wooden chopsticks from their paper wrap. She set the opened container down, and snapped a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks.

"Miss me?" She chirped, and picked the container back up. It was what he always picked up when he visited her house. There was a strip mall between their homes, with a Thai fast food place... It wasn't special, but it was convenient and cheap. Though, if anything stood out on their menu, it had to be...

Kanon lifted a piece of ginger chicken in the chopsticks. The #7 on the menu, the one with the crack on the menu display that made it look like the name of the spice was crossed out. "I'm sorry Big Brother, but I don't have a lot of time to stay with you, so you have to eat fast. I won't be back for a few hours after this, so make sure you finish it all, okay? I don't want you going hungry while I'm gone."

He stared at the food she was holding up, then flicked his eyes up at her face, head tilted down to exaggerate his glare.

"Get off me."

"Hah?"

"Get off! I don't want you sitting on me!"

Kanon pouted, but didn't budge.

"Choberiba..." She pushed the food closer to his face, and he leaned away from it.

"I don't want it! Get off!" He roughly jerked his body, knocking his hip bone against her and trying to force her off. Kanon grabbed his shoulder for balance and yelped.

"Big Brother-"

"Get off of me!" He continued to struggle with all he had. Not much, as it turned out, with how his hands were restricting the rest of him. He just wanted her off. Even if she didn't comply, he wanted to make it difficult for her. "I'm not your decoration! I'm not your furniture or toy or whatever the fuck you want me to be! I'm a human! I wanna go home!" In his fighting, she'd let the styrofoam tray down, and had to back off to avoid getting hurt. In the meantime, Leon's yelling had cracked. He didn't want to cry, but tears were coming anyway. "I wanna _propose_ to my _girlfriend!_ I wanna get her a bigger house, maybe a couple kids, I don't know! I wanna be famous, get on magazines and posters, and people askin' me for autographs! I just wanna feed my fish and see my friends and parents! Shit, I don't wanna just be a face on a milk carton!" His voice snapped, and there was no disguising his breakdown. His jaw was tight and breaths were sharp. "Kanon, _please!_ If you _ever_ loved me, you'd _let me go!"_

From a few meters away, she looked back at him through glassy, bloodshot eyes. Then, without a word, stood up and turned to leave. Leon sat forward, pulling the chain taught in an attempt to follow her. "Please," he begged, finally on his feet. The way he had to bend his knees and bow forward was embarrassing and uncomfortable, but he couldn't stand the thought of being left there again for hours. "Kanon, please, don't leave... I'll forget all about all of this, just let me go. I'll tell everyone I just went camping for a couple days and forgot to mention. We can say we went together, and you can cover my story. I won't get you in trouble, I won't stop talking to you, either. I'll be just like before, just please, let me go." Kanon made no sound as she left the room, just the door clicking behind her, leaving him alone with his rough sobs and frustrated attempts to pull himself free. If only the chain was longer. If only it was in front of him. Maybe he'd be able to see any faults, maybe he could use his foot to break it. Maybe he could gnaw off his wrists. As it was, the metal bracelets were far too tight to slide his hand out of, welded together, and had no noticeable weak spot. He stayed there, on his feet, until his legs were hurting and he slowly dropped to his knees, one at a time, no other choice but to wait for her to come back.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kanon came back in the evening, he hadn't touched the styrofoam container, even though it was within his reach this time. He hadn't even tried. He'd just laid on his side and stared at the door. She watched him closely on her way over to him, then sat beside him, on the side farther from his face. She kept her eyes on him, but he didn't look away from the door. They were both quiet for a time. Kanon turned to look in the same direction, and rested her hands in her lap.

"I thought about what you said, Big Brother."

Leon didn't budge. "And, uhmm... It's bad now, but... I'm sure it'll get better, okay?" He felt his heart sink. Some scrap of him had honestly believed she'd let him go. That was an expression- if you love something, set it free- and he felt so stupid, all these years of being close to _her,_ the kind of person that would do this to him. "Please don't be mad at me, Big Brother. I love you. I love you so much." When he blinked, tears fell from his eyes, but he didn't react to it. "I know you miss her. That pain you feel in your chest from not being with her is the same pain I felt every time I saw your face. Three thousand, nine-hundred and nine. That's how many times you rejected me." Her voice quivered. Leon swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Just leave."

"Leave?"

"I don't wanna be around someone that hates me. _I_ can't, so _you_ have to be the one to leave."

"Big Brother, I-"

"Kanon, can you just let me have some time alone? It's not like I can tell you to never come back. I'd starve."

She gave a small, stifled noise, and he knew she was fighting back tears. But it was followed up with an "Mhmm," and a brief touch on his leg before she got to her feet. He kept his eyes shut, well after the door had clicked shut.

Like the night prior, she came back a few hours later to pull his blanket up around him and place a soft kiss on his cheek. He didn't move as she did, still in the same spot as the last time she'd shown up. Only this time, he had a blanket and the room was darker when she left.

In the morning, she kneeled down in front of his face, and he'd leaned up enough to have a drink of water. Nothing more. Around what he had to assume was midday, she returned with more takeout, this time it was a few types of rolls. He mumbled that he wasn't hungry and he'd have it later. Kanon had given him a worried look, but told him she was going to leave it in the fridge, and if he changed his mind all he had to do was ask. A little more water and she left him alone again.

The next day was more of the same. No one had come to rescue him. The chain wasn't any looser around his wrists, and he didn't have the will to try to pull it from it's fastening anymore. He just laid on the floor, waiting for someone to save him or Kanon to change her mind. He didn't want to do anything more than that. A couple times, Kanon had set up a movie for him and let it play while she was out. He blankly looked at the screen every now and then, but even his favourites were hard to pay attention to. Much of his time, he spent asleep, which became increasingly easier to do.

It felt like he'd been here for weeks, but in honesty, he'd lost track. At some point, he started to actually look forward to Kanon returning. At least he wasn't alone. He'd have someone to talk to, his needs would be met, and she'd leave him comfortable and contented. Anything he asked her to bring him, she would. He'd even tried to make her fail a few times, out of spite and boredom, he'd asked for ' _katsudon made by my mom_ '. The taste was unmistakeable, it was the _exact_ recipe. But he knew something Kanon didn't- the recipe card in his mother's box had a mistake on it. His mom always changed the amount she actually put in. He'd choked up when he realized Kanon had actually gotten _his mother_ to make him his favourite katsudon. She probably had no idea why his cousin had asked for something so strange and specific, but she'd made his favourite anyway, the exact way only she could.

After that, he made a few other unusual requests, trying to get some kind of message to his friends and family that the girl asking for these things had to know something. But she must've been more clever than he gave credit for. Either that, or the people closest to him were stupider than he'd thought. 

As easily as it had started, he gave up on giving her intentionally difficult requests, and mostly just stuck to things he actually wanted. The only thing she refused was any sort of picture or memorabilia of Sayaka. The place could've been paradise, with the amount of things he loved, all his favourite foods, and never having to work for any of them. He could stay in bed all day.

The chains on his wrists were a bit of a mood-killer, though. He couldn't change the channel or start a movie without Kanon to help him. If he had an itch, he had to ignore it, unless he could somehow rub it against the wall or use his foot. Kanon had made it a habit to sit in his lap while feeding him, and though he'd resisted for a long time, the fire had quieted in his protests. It got him nowhere. If she wanted to do it, she would do it anyway. She'd shackled him to the wall. His opinion didn't count for much anymore. And, at least, his chain was longer now.

It was strange. She'd fed him, and stayed to talk to him for a while, as she often did. But partway through the conversation, he woke up. He didn't remember falling asleep. Or even how the conversation had ended. But he was awake and she was gone, and his chain was longer. Long enough to stand up and get to the mattress, walk around the room a little, but not much else. It was still too short to get to the door, though.

Every now and then, she brought in a bucket and washed his hair for him, but he never let her wash the rest of his body, despite her efforts to. Admittedly, he felt grungy and wanted to get clean, but the thought of her getting her hands all over him was too much of a hurdle. It couldn't be that much longer before his rescue came, after all. He could shower then. It had only been... A few days? Two weeks?

Kanon joined him for movies, most of the time. She'd turn it on and curl up beside him to watch it with him, usually on the mattress with their backs up against the wall. It wasn't so bad, really. They'd talk over it and point out how the characters could've saved a lot of hassle, that the effects were terrible, that Leon thought that actress looked good or wished he had a hoverboard like that too. They'd switched on a typical spy movie, and in the middle of the typical car chase, the typical hero was diffusing the typical bomb, and Leon couldn't stop squirming. He kept trying to rub his face against his shoulder, and it wound up looking like a bird struggling to groom itself. Kanon ignored him, out of politeness, but after a while she had to speak up.

"What're you doing, Big Brother?"

"Christ, my face itches like crazy! I never go so long without shaving!"

"But... You've got a beard, you don't shave."

"I do, just not that part. What, you thought it only grew in that one area?" He kept trying to itch his jawline as he spoke, clearly getting frustrated with it. "That would be weird. -God, I prolly look so lame right now!" Kanon took in the details she'd overlooked before. He was right. She hadn't gelled his hair the way he liked it, or touched up the dye. His cheeks had a fairly heavy shadow of his natural dark brown hair, and roots were beginning to show in his hairline. If he could see himself like this, he'd flip. Kanon bit her lip. It didn't bother her at all that he wasn't looking his best, but it bothered _him_. He couldn't even hold his own glass of pop, surely she could give him at least that much. He only stopped his squirming when she scratched his cheek for him. "Ah, that's... Go left. No, my left." It was like scratching behind a puppy's ear, the way he leaned into it and made a relieved face. Kanon couldn't help but smile. He was so cute.

The next day, when she came back to his room, he sat up and looked at her with a bright expression.

"Hey, you're back!" It always made her heart flutter, the way he seemed so happy to see her. Some part of her had to know he was just relieved not to be alone again, but the rest of her just enjoyed the moment when it lasted. She set a grocery bag down beside him, and he sat forward to take a look at what she'd brought. Just like a puppy.

"I brought you some more things!"

"Yeah?"

Kanon took a razor, still in it's packaging, from the bag. Leon watched with curiousity while she took the rest out. Shaving cream, eyeliner, hair dye, and his favourite kind of gel. All just the right brands and numbers. The brand of aftershave he always used, but... The wrong scent. He didn't comment on it.

"I know this one is wrong," she set the aftershave down, regardless. "They were out of your favourite, I tried _three_ stores! I think it might be discontinued..." She took out a new pair of scissors and started cutting open the packaging. "Is it okay?" The thought of getting a fresh shave had caught his attention. It wouldn't take him back home to his doting girlfriend, but it might make him feel a little more human. He nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, that's fine! That stuff is mediocre, anyway! What kind did you get, instead?"

Kanon held it up for him to see the label.

"It's 'ocean surf'. It looks really similar, and smells almost the same as what you had before. You like it, right?" She pulled off the cap and held it close to his face, so he could smell it.

"Yeah, it's good." It was alright.

"I thought we could start with your hair," she mused, and looked over the assorted products she'd picked up. "Dye first, give it a good wash, maybe a trim..."

"Don't cut it!" Leon whined and shook his head. "I don't want it shorter, I'm growing it out!" Kanon seemed surprised, but nodded in agreement.

"Yababa, Big Brother is so smart! You're right, it would look better if it was longer!" She held either side of her face in her hands. Leon smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, but dying it is good! I usually go to a salon. The girl there is really good at it, and she's really cute, too. I love goin' there for touch-ups." He mirrored her happy expression, which cracked hers. "Sayaka doesn't mind it. She thinks the stylist is way outta my league. Can you believe it? Famous idol thinks a hair stylist is too good for me?" He gave a short laugh and shook his head. Kanon said nothing, and opened the package of home-dye.

"Well, this time, you'll have to make do with the home stuff."

"That's okay. I can't afford to go to a stylist every single time, y'know? I do it myself a lot. I can do it easy. Are, uh..." He jostled the chains behind his back, and gave her a hopeful look. Kanon shook her head, with a bitter expression, as though she'd just eaten something she didn't like. Was it something he said?

"I'll do it for you."

Leon glanced down, but nodded. It would've been so nice to free his hands for a while. His shoulders ached, his elbows felt stiff and his wrists were sick of having the constant light pressure around them. But, after this long, he didn't feel like arguing it.

"Careful you don't get dye on my ears though, huh? I don't want my earrings to get stained. And, uhh... My shirt, too." It wasn't his _favourite_ shirt, but he didn't have another one with him. It would be impossible to change, anyway. Kanon gave him a bright, excited smile, and started opening the packaging. With little else to do, Leon watched. Funny, how the most interesting part of his day had become watching a package of dye be opened. She laid out the contents and unfolded the directions. "I can walk you through it, it's really easy. Just take that stuff," he nodded to the bottle of dye, "and put those on," the gloves, "and like, rub it in your hands, and then you kinda..." He lolled his head either way and shrugged. "Y'know?" Kanon gave him a confused, smitten smile.

"You never change." She brushed a hand through his hair.

"What's that mean?" He half-frowned. Did he say something stupid? Kanon started pulling on the gloves.

"I love you. That's all. I love you so, so much."

There was no response to that. What could he tell her that he hadn't already said a thousand times over? She checked the directions and shifted closer to him, still leaning over to read the paper. After a moment, she pulled the dye bottle's cap open, and stood up on her knees. Leon tipped his head down to let her get at it better. She was hesitant at first, biting into her lip and gingerly setting the tip of the bottle in his hair. After a moment he felt the cold dye, and she started moving her hands over his hair. It was actually kind of relaxing. Like a massage for his scalp. She was careful around his hairline and sideburns, practically surgical when she said she was going to touch-up his beard. He held still for her to do it, her face leaned close, tongue poking out in concentration. The air was so tense. He blew air into her face to break the tension, and she blinked in surprise.

"Choberiba! I could've slipped!"

Leon just laughed.

"You looked so _serious!_ Man, it's just a touch-up, you look like you're doing open-heart surg-"

"Stop talking, stop talking!" Kanon held up her hands, staring at him in what he could've taken as horror.

"... Huh?"

"Shush!" Kanon carefully brushed near his chin, and let out a sigh of relief. "It was going to drip..."

Leon shook his head and laughed again.

"You're so uptight about this!"

"I want you to be perfect," she muttered, under her breath. Leon wasn't really sure what to make of that, so he just rested the side of his face on his knee and looked at her. It was an awkward position, but with no hands and restricted motion, he'd gotten used to some uncomfortable ways of sitting. And this kept his beard and hair from touching anything else and smearing dye on it. There was a short moment of quiet before Leon chimed in with a change of topic.

"How do we rinse it out?"

"Hah?" Kanon looked startled.

"We gotta rinse the dye out. A bucket won't work, it's gotta be running water."

"... Choberiba..." Kanon picked up the directions and read them over, worry growing heavier and heavier on her face. Leon groaned.

"Kaaaa-nooo-oon!" He whined, and dropped his shoulders. "You gotta rinse it! Twenty minutes to set, ten to rinse!"

"I know, I know! Don't get mad at me, we'll rinse it!"

Leon pouted at her. So maybe his reaction was childish. Getting to fix his hair had become a treat, and now it felt like it had been taken away. Now it was just going to ruin his hair from being set too long. "Just... You have to eat something, first."

"Hah?"

"Just something small."

"Kanon, what're you talking about? I'm not hungry. That'll take too long."

"Just a quick bite!"

"No! Just rinse it out, I'll eat later!" Kanon had never seemed so worried before.

"Just... Then you have to promise me you won't fight me, okay?" He squinted in confusion.

"Fight you..?"

"Promise!"

"Okay, I promise." It's not like he had many options. Kanon looked away, and chewed her lip. She edged closer, reaching behind him, and he heard the chain being moved. His heart sped up. Was she going to untie him? "Don't fight me. Just come with me, okay?"

He pulled his wrists, but found them still cuffed together. Whatever she was doing, she was holding his cuffs pretty tightly, so he couldn't try to get loose without hurting himself. He heard a clamp close, and she withdrew the end of a chain, which he realized was bound to his hands at the other end. Kanon kept giving him a look of worry. She slowly stood up, still staring at him. The chain stayed loose from how close he was to her, staring back, and he blinked for a second before hoisting himself to his feet. He looked back at where he'd been sitting. It was... Disgusting. Food crumbs, a compression in the carpetting, a handful of marks from a spilled drink or dropped piece of food. But more importantly... He wasn't anchored to it anymore. His hands were still bound behind his back, leashed and held by Kanon, who slowly started walking towards the door she always entered from. Leon followed.

His whole body ached from underuse, sore and stiff, but ecstatic to be back in use. Even a short walk made his legs feel a thousand times better, and he contentedly stretched out his back. Kanon reached for the doorknob, still holding his chain in one hand, still staring at his face with so much nervousness. "Don't run." He nodded.

"I won't." Normally he'd make it into some idiotic joke to lighten the mood, but the fear of her chaining him back to the floor was too strong. Kanon held her breath and opened the door.

It wasn't much, on the other side. It just seemed like a typical apartment, though he'd never seen it before, and it was woefully underfurnished. There was a couch and a coffee table to his right, a small table and chair set further into the room, with an opened box of takeout left on it. The couch was outfitted with a blanket and pillow, but it looked too cold to sleep on. Behind the furniture was a large window with the blinds closed. Most of the lights, he noticed, were kept off. Kanon led him through a small kitchenette, with limited counterspace and modest appliances. There was an almost-empty cup of what he assumed was orange juice, with a pink lipstick smudge on the rim. Kanon's purse was set on the counter, her keys beside it and flip phone left near them. Leon kept walking with Kanon's slow pace, and he saw over her shoulder that they were going towards a washroom. He was so distracted by looking around, that he almost missed it- the front door. It had a chain drawn over it, the deadbolt locked securely, even the peephole was covered by a strip of duct tape. He said nothing as he looked at it, still following Kanon, and took his attention off of it when they were in the washroom.

Like the rest of the place, it was modestly sized. The counter was covered in makeup and skin care products, a hairbrush full of blonde and a pink case he knew she kept her contacts in. She closed the door behind him, and he wasn't sure why she locked it. There wasn't much he could do with his hands tied. Could he open a doorknob with his foot? ... Maybe, but she'd definitely be able to stop him while he was trying to figure out how. Kanon nodded at the shower.

"I guess just lean your head in?" She pulled the showerhead off it's holder. "I can use this just fine to rinse it for you."

"Can I shower?"

"Huh?"

"Shower. I wanna take a shower." He gestured to it with his elbow. In all honesty, he did desperately want a shower, but more than that he wanted his hands untied. Then he could throw the door open, yank the front door after it, and run like he was so famous for.

Kanon must've seen his plan in his eyes. She shook her head.

"No."

"Please? I feel all gross and smelly."

"You're not."

"I know you'd say that! C'mon, I'm gettin' all cleaned up anyway, what would it hurt? I can do it fast!"

"No. I'm sorry Big Brother, but it's not something I'm going to negotiate. We have to rinse your hair, that's all."

Leon whined.

"I just want a shower! Is that really that bad? You can lock me in if you want! Shit, stay in the room if you have to!"

Kanon bit into her lip again. This nervousness was ruining her careful lipgloss application. That was another thing- he must've had a pound of her lipgloss smeared onto him by now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

A few moments later, he was down to his briefs, still chained to her leash. She'd fastened the end to the drain in the bathtub, and he sat in the tub looking miserable while she adjusted the showerhead. He'd refused to let her near his boxers, even giving her a kick when she tried to, but if nothing else... He could still get clean. Kanon tested the temperature of the water in her hand, then side-stepped closer to him in the tub, and held the showerhead over his legs. It was a good temperature, and the water felt amazing. She brought it up his torso and shoulders, then over his head to rinse out the dye. The water ran red.

It was an incredible feeling. Better than a shower after a long game of baseball. The best shower of his life. It was so refreshing and warm, though it was unwelcome when Kanon started to rub a loofah over him. He glared, but knew there was nothing he could do, so let it go with a sigh and just squirmed to get comfortable. She mostly just cleaned his chest area, obviously her favourite, but didn't forget his back, arms and legs. Any time she tried to get near his briefs, he'd moved away and snapped at her that that was off-limits. She obeyed, for the most part, but did sneak a few touches while getting his back. Then shampoo, conditioner, and a good rinse off before she switched off the water. By now it had run clean, and he was left sitting in the tub, sopping wet, boxers clinging to him and starting to feel cold.

Kanon retrieved a towel from behind her, and opened it. He stood and let her wrap it over his shoulders. Then she undid the chain from it's fasten, and started leading him back out of the bathroom. He roughly shook his head to flick the water off and followed. When they were back in his room, he stopped in front of the spot she wanted him to sit in.

"Uh..."

It was strange to keep asking so many favours, but what choice did he have? It's not like he could do these things himself. He couldn't even take a damn shower without her help.

"Is something wrong?"

"I just... It's kinda dirty, huh?"

Kanon looked around where he was chained. There were a couple food trays that were almost done, because he'd said he wanted to finish it later and never had. A few cups with the same story. Anything unsafe to eat or drink, she'd taken away, but the trash didn't help the look of it. Maybe it was his imagination, but he could swear even the wall looked like it had a grease mark.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

They both stood there for a moment, saying nothing, Leon dripping wet. Then, with a sigh, she clipped his chain back into it's loop. The chain was long enough now that he could sit on the mattress while his usual spot was being cleaned.

"Stay right there. Don't move a single muscle, okay?"

"Where am I gonna go?" He gave her an unimpressed eyeroll. "Can I open a lock with my teeth or somethin'?" Kanon didn't seem happy with his arguing, but left the room briefly, and returned with a small hand-held vaccuum. Leon stayed on the bed, but, just to spite her, folded his legs up on it to sit in a different position. She didn't seem to care that he _had_ moved more than a single muscle.

If there was an upside, he didn't have to help with chores. He could just sit and watch her vacuum the area, gather the trash in a bag, and spray the room with an air freshener. It was still his prison, but... It was a little more appealing, now. He flicked more water off his hair. Kanon sighed and rested her hands on her hips, and looked over at him with pride in her eyes.

"That's much better, isn't it?"

Leon looked it over, gave a smile and nod.

"Way better. Thanks for that."

"So next... Let's dry you off. I know how!"

For what must've been over an hour, Kanon dried his hair, styled it how he liked, shaved his stubble for him, got him dressed in clean clothes, brushed his teeth, and splashed him with aftershave and cologne. He was still locked to the floor, but at least he felt human again. Then she held up a hand mirror.

It was odd. He knew he must've looked terrible before, but he had no way of seeing his reflection until now, and he just seemed like himself with slightly longer hair and paler skin. He smiled anyway and turned his face to see from all sides.

"Perfect!"

Kanon lit up from the approval, squealed in excitement and latched onto him in a tight hug.

"I'm so glad you like it! I know exactly what Big Brother looks like, I know how to make you look just right, nobody knows better than I do!" She squeezed him tight and he gave a confused laugh.

"Yeah, you did a great job." Did he really look that terrible before..? He certainly _felt_ better, now, but he hoped it wasn't that big of a contrast.

He hadn't felt this fresh in... However long she'd kept him here. She kept hugging him tight.

"I love you, Big Brother."

"Yeah." Now he'd made himself wonder, though. How long _had_ he been here? "Hey, Kanon..." She loosened her hug and looked him in the eyes. Sitting in his lap had become so common that he barely even noticed it anymore. "How long have I been here?"

"Time flies past when we're together, Big Brother." She held her face in her hands and smiled.

"Yeah, but that's not what I asked. Has it been... Two weeks or so?"

"No..." She slowly drooped her smile. "You sleep a lot, don't you? You had to be clean and nice for today, it's a very important day. Did you forget?" Leon tried to think of important dates that were close, but none came to mind.

"What is it?"

"It's my birthday."

"That's... Wait, it's been that long?!" Her birthday was in summer. He felt sick. A month had passed. On top of that, her birthday present to herself was dressing him up like a doll. This hadn't been about making him feel better at all, it had just been her making him as attractive as she wanted him to be. She nodded her face up into the crook of his neck, hugging his torso under his arms.

"You're the only present I want, Big Brother."

Leon said nothing. He felt cold and numb. Were they still looking for him? Did Sayaka have a new boyfriend? Did she still live in the house they used to share? Was she feeding his fish? A month was a long time, anything could happen in a month. He felt ice in his spine, whatever Kanon was telling him was just white noise.

"It's been... A full month..?"

"It will be, in three days."

A twinge of desperation pulled at him. He had to get out, before another month passed. What was it going to take? He'd missed his anniversary with Sayaka. They'd been together for five years, about a week ago. He swallowed and did his best to make a plan.

"Our anniversary, huh?"

Kanon froze. "The first month is a pretty big deal, for a couple to stay together. That's when all the hard stuff is out of the way. I'd have to say the next big one is three months, and then six... Then it's just years. The first milestone is definitely a month, though, and that makes it pretty special, huh?" He could feel her breathing heavier, but she said nothing, and didn't move. "Did you plan something?"

"I... I thought you'd..."

"What? Thought I'd forget something like that?" He was impressing himself, with how convincing his voice was. It helped that she wasn't looking right at him. "I won't now! We can spend the whole day together, and I'll make it up that I missed your birthday. That sound good?"

Kanon let out a long, loud cry, and latched onto him so tightly he found it hard to breathe properly.

"Yababababa!! Big Brother!! Yes, that would be _amazing!_ I'll get whatever you want, and we can be together _all day,_ and watch any movies you like and you can shower if you want to and-!"

"Hey, calm down, one at a time! You gotta let me plan somethin' out, huh?"

She let go of the hug, held his face in both hands and roughly kissed his face, over and over, mostly around his lips. As much as he hated it... He was, unfortunately, getting pretty used to this.

"Yes, anything you like! Anything!" It was his knee-jerk reaction to suggest, again, that she let him go, but he had to do his best to be convincing. If this worked, maybe he had a chance at getting out of here. A month was too long. What had he missed?

"Okay, can you get some scented candles? And, uh... Is it weird to ask you to get yourself a present? Actually, forget that, I'd rather _do_ somethin' for you anyway. Can I make dinner?" Perfect. Perfect! He couldn't help feeling proud of this plan. He was an abysmal cook, and he hated doing it, but there was no way she could deny him use of his hands if he was cooking. With the chain gone, he could overpower her and bolt out the door. Excitement... Something he hadn't felt in a long time, but now he felt like he was shaking from it. Kanon hugged his neck, delighted, and clearly misunderstanding his excitement. She was such a romantic. She always had been, but he didn't feel guilty for using that knowledge against her.

It was amazing, what a shower could do. His entire being felt fresh and ready to resume his fight to escape. He just had to be a little smarter about it than before. Something he wasn't used to, but something he trusted he _could_ do, when he had no choice. Tricking her was his only chance.

"I'll see what I can do about that, just tell me anything you want me to bring and I'll bring it!"

"Thanks, Kanon. You're the best." The words didn't even feel like his own, they were so thickly coated in a lie. The best? He could break her arm and feel nothing. "I'm really looking forward to it!" _That,_ at least, wasn't a lie.

One way or another, he was getting out of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time leon puts his plan into action- wish him luck!


	3. Chapter 3

 

The next day, Leon woke up in the bed, with Kanon curled up beside him. He felt a strange clarity to the morning, as if he'd had a good sleep, though he didn't feel particularly refreshed. Just much more clear. It didn't occur to him until now that he had a fog that needed to be lifted, but now that it was, he realized this wasn't the first time he'd woken up with Kanon beside him. He squirmed his shoulders and yawned, not really caring if he disturbed the girl cuddled into his chest. He looked around the room through the lasting grogginess of sleep. It seemed like there were more things here than he remembered. More DvDs stacked near the player, more posters on the walls, more CDs he liked. Kanon stirred and nuzzled him briefly before opening her eyes to look at him with a sleepy smile.

"Good morning, Big Brother. I think this is the first time you woke up before me. Were you awake for a long time?" She lightly squeezed him and closed her eyes again, the picture of happiness.

"Only a minute. Did you change something?"

"Hmm?"

"It feels different in here. Did you change something?" He wished he could rub his eyes and work the sleep out of them.

"No, nothing changed. Do you feel better?"

"... Yeah. Why?"

Instead of answering him, she just hugged him and cuddled up.

"I thought you'd like that. You've been so good, Big Brother. You didn't fight me or anything, just like you promised you wouldn't. I can't wait for the day after tomorrow."

Her words were confusing, but with this new sense of clarity, he thought he understood without needing her to say it outright. Up until now, she'd been drugging him. How hadn't he realized it sooner? Asking him to eat before letting him in the shower was just trying to make him more docile. The reason he could sleep so many hours of the day, why it all seemed to be blurred together... It was so obvious. He shook his head in disgust. Any time she washed his hair, she'd given him something to eat or drink first, and as a result he never cared or struggled when she had her hands in his hair. He didn't fight when she cuddled him after having a drink a little while before, and if she tried to do it before drugging him, he'd remembered that it didn't bother him last time, and let it happen. She'd just been picking out the behaviours she didn't like and quietly training them away. He could feel his heart speeding up in anger. If his hands were free, they'd be at her throat. How many chances to escape had he ignored? She'd changed the chain on his wrists, he wouldn't have slept through that rattling if he wasn't drugged.

Kanon looked up at him again and smiled. "Your heart sped up, just now."

"Did it?" He didn't mean to sound annoyed, but the sleepy, easygoing veil over his words was gone. Her smile faultered a little from his tone.

"Yes. It's because I mentioned the day after tomorrow, isn't it?"

Oh, right. Their 'anniversary'. His chance to escape. And if his reward for good behaviour was avoiding being drugged again, he'd be able to overpower her and escape even easier than he thought he would. He just had to be perfect until then. Everything she wanted him to be. The best boyfriend, or pet, however it was she saw him. As much as he hated it, this feeling of clarity only reminded him to stay docile and obedient. Act like he had no idea.

"Yeah," he stretched his shoulders and squirmed in discomfort. Having his hands bound so long was hell for his elbows, shoulders and wrists, but he was used to the aching. "I can't wait." It was too bad he wouldn't be able to take a closer look at the front door first. The only way he could see it was seconds before he was frantically unlocking it. But, at least, he had the rest of today and tomorrow to prepare a plan and ready himself. Even after kidnapping and drugging him, he didn't really want to think about having to hurt her. If that's what it took, he didn't doubt he could do it. Not after all she'd put him through. After breaking his pride, he could break something of hers, too. What would it have to be? Her heart? Her wrist? Her neck?

"You look so cute when you're thinking," Kanon gave a feminine giggle and leaned up to give him a kiss. On a reflex he'd forgotten he had, he pulled back. Kanon stopped, hovering over him, weight on her hands on either side of his torso and staring into his eyes. "What're you thinking so seriously about?"

"Stuff," he answered, after a brief pause. What was he supposed to tell her? That he'd been wondering if he'd be giving her bruises and broken bones in a few days? She kept staring right into his eyes, making him wonder if she would tell what he was thinking about.

"What stuff?"

"Y'know. Stuff." He was blanking for an excuse. "I just feel kinda weird, I guess." Then, for good measure, "My arms hurt." One of those would work. Kanon leaned closer, and he fought the impulse to pull away as she kissed the end of his nose.

"That's probably normal," she mumbled, and got off the mattress. He idly watched her stretch out her arms. Her pyjamas looked comfortable, and he found himself jealous of cosy flannel pants and baggy shirts. This outfit was clean, at least, but the belt buckle and stiff denim jeans weren't great sleepwear. Then again, he couldn't move around much to begin with, when his hands were still bound behind his back and chained to the floor. "Do you want a shoulder massage?"

"Hah?"

"You said your arms hurt. Would a shoulder massage help?"

"Oh, that's-" He interrupted himself. He wanted to say _that's fine, but I'd really rather you didn't,_ but he remembered how much was riding on this chance to escape. "That's a big help." If he disagreed or pushed her away, she'd go back to drugging him and never even consider unchaining him. He was aching to ask her to untie him, but resisted, hoping to build up good behaviour before suggesting it. If he kept nagging for it, she might get annoyed and take away what little freedoms he had left as some kind of punishment.

He hated how much power over him she had.

After stretching out her arms and yawning, (again, sending pangs of jealousy through him) she returned to the mattress and asked him to sit up. He complied and let her sit on her knees behind him. Though he was dreading it, the shoulder massage really did feel nice. He let his head droop down and eyes close. His arms had been going from a soreness to actual pain, begging to be used, to hold a bat or clumsily fumble over a guitar. To give Sayaka a hug. Anything, other than stay locked behind his back. But Kanon continued rubbing his shoulders for a long time, working out the kinks and getting rid of the pain. At his request, she rubbed his upper arms, then forearms, and what she could manage near his wrists and hands. Admittedly, he did feel better after. Then she got up, shaking out her hands, and headed for the door.

"I'll be right back," she gave a casual promise, and he found himself sitting forward.

"When are you gonna be back?"

"Just a few minutes," she answered, giving him a surprised look. "I just want to get dressed, I'm not leaving you." He slouched, embarrassed by how he must've sounded, asking that.

"Okay," he nodded, and she closed the door behind her.

Hmm. Usually, when she left, he just laid in the same place and let his mind go blank until she came back. Like being put into sleep mode until she wanted him again. But now, he found himself with attention and... Boredom. After a couple minutes, he stood up, with no real purpose, he just wanted to use his legs. The longer chain allowed him to walk in a radius around where he was chained, though he couldn't make it to the door, he could take a closer look at some of the things in his room. The poster with diagrams of guitar chords. He noticed, this time, that the guitar pictured next to them was the same kind back in his house. Was Sayaka keeping it? Was she keeping all his things, just in case he came back? Had she sold any, or gotten rid of them in some other way? Was she keeping his side of the bed unmade, feeding his fish, sighing as she washed the dishes he'd left out? Kanon wasn't back yet, so he leaned down by the movies, to see what was here. His favourites, of course, but a few romantic comedies were in there too. Kanon's favourites, he assumed, but wasn't really sure if that was right. It would be strange for them to be his requests. He had a few, vague memories of some of these playing while Kanon was out for a while, but for the most part he'd just vacantly been staring at the screen without absorbing anything that was happening. Had that been the drugs, or just feeling depressed from being trapped here?

When she came back a while later (about twenty minutes, he'd guess) she was in one of those fashionable dresses she liked so well, hair brushed and clipped back, familiar black bow fixed into her hair with a lock pointing out the top. She was holding a plate of food and cup of orange juice, and he instantly found himself wondering what she'd put in it. If he hadn't noticed a strange taste or smell before, why would he notice it now?

"- Oh, you're up!" Kanon looked at him in surprise, and he stopped leaning to look at the movies, standing upright in front of her.

"Yeah." He looked at the plate of what was, undoubtedly, his breakfast. "I feel really good right now."

"That's wonderful, Big Brother! Do you want some breakfast?" She held up the plate and cup, and he felt himself grimace. Not because of the dish itself... It looked delicious, and smelled fantastic.

"I don't wanna sleep all the time," he said, and took a step backwards. "Don't take this away, I feel really good! Don't make me tired and useless again!" Kanon lowered the offered food, looking conflicted.

"But... You'll get anxious."

"I'd rather that! Please, Kanon! Don't you want me to be myself? Is it the sleeping piece of meat you love, or is it me? I don't wanna lose this, don't make me lose this!"

"Sleeping piece of- Big Brother! I'd never think of you like that!"

"Then don't make me _into_ that!"

"I don't like fighting with you, just eat your breakfast."

"Kanon, _please!_ " His voice strained. "Just listen!" He was terrified to go back to staring at nothing, always in and out of sleep, no concept of time passing or any cares at all. "Kanon, I'll be good, just don't keep drugging me. Please." He could feel his eyes glassing over, and was furious that he couldn't wipe them away and feign being stronger than he was. "I'll be good."

"You'll be _bored,_ " she argued, as if it was any sort of fair trade. "And you won't let me near you. I saw you flinch when I tried to kiss you earlier. Once it's all out of your system, you'll be fighting me again. Do you remember when you first got here, how upset you'd get from seeing me? You wouldn't eat, you wouldn't talk to me, you'd always be going on and on about _bad things..._ " In fairness, she was right. He did remember how much he'd been yelling, yanking at the chain, demanding she let him go and telling her to just leave him alone.

"And you made me into a _vegetable_ for it! Come on, I can't _move my arms_ , can't I at least have my _mind?_ Do you really want me to be dead inside just because I yelled at you a few times?" This argument didn't seem to be working. Kanon's fingers gripped into the dishes, and her expression was slowly turning darker. "E-every couple has arguments, right?" That did nothing. "I wanna be able to plan out stuff for later, and have conversations with you that I actually remember, and be awake when you come see me, and..." He clawed at whatever shred of sympathy she had in her, but her expression remained angry. She said nothing in response. It was a miracle he'd managed to keep himself composed for this long, because his temper couldn't take one more plea for her to grant him a request as simple as not drugging him. He stamped a foot forward, making his chain jostle, and took on an aggressive demeanour. "I'm not eating it! I'd rather starve than let you drug me one more time! You're not going to sit on me and feed me like I'm your fuckin' dog! Shit, look at how you're makin' me live!" He nodded towards the mattress on the floor. "You got me sleepin' in a dog bed! You tell me to sit or lie down and I fuckin' do it! I'm on a _leash,_ for God's sake! You wanna get me a fuckin' collar too? Put me on a _choke chain_ so I behave?"

Honestly, he hadn't meant to snap. His intentions were to be good, to earn her trust, to be exactly what she wanted him to be. At least, for today and tomorrow, he did.

She didn't take it well.

" _This_ is why I have to keep doing this!" She slammed the plate and cup down on the stand beside the TV. "You always argue with me! You can't just stay put and be good, I don't know what to do! You don't leave me any _choice,_ Big Brother!" Leon stepped closer, teeth grit and fists pointlessly clenched.

" _Choice?_ You've got _lots_ of choices! What about the _choice_ to untie me?! The _choice_ to let me go home and see Sayaka?!"

" _That name_ again!" Kanon messed up her own hair and made a frustrated noise. "She's _ruined_ you! You were _perfect_ before you met her, and now she's all you think about! Well, I didn't want to have to do this, Big Brother, but you've forced my hand-  _she's cheating on you!_ She has been for months, even before you came here, she's been cheating!"

It felt like he'd just been shot.

"Y-... You made that up. Don't bring her into this! She would never do that!" There was no chance. _No chance._ It had to be a lie. "You just want me to forget about her! I'm not going to, I _love_ her! I love Sayaka! I'll never stop loving her, I want to spend my whole life with her!" Each word sent new pain in Kanon's features.

"I can _prove_ it. Is that what you want?"

Leon swallowed. Was it? If Sayaka _had_ been cheating on him, did he want to know?

"You can't prove that."

"I can. I followed you for years, and when you got serious about this girl, I followed her, too. I wanted to know why you loved her so much. And you know what I found out?"

"What?" His eyes narrowed, practically hissing the question.

"She's always been close to Naegi, hasn't she?"

"Naegi wouldn't do that, he's my friend too! Stop lying to me! Stop lying about Sayaka! You're jealous of her, you've always been jealous and you're just trying to mess with me!"

"I _have_ been jealous of her, you're right about that. I've always been jealous of her. I've been jealous of every girl you've ever said you loved, every girl you've held hands with or kissed or taken out on a date or looked at with hearts in your eyes- I've been jealous of all of them. I'll admit that, but I'm not lying. She _is_ cheating on you, and I can prove it."

There was a moment of quiet between them. Close enough to kiss. Or, if he had it his way, to bite. Did he want the proof? Could he trust it, if she provided it?

"Prove it." The words came without confidence. But he had to see her attempt at it. Was it a badly photoshopped image? Was it an old photo from years ago? Was it something as trivial as an item she claimed was in Naegi's house? If it was flawed evidence, he could, at least, rest easy knowing she had stayed loyal. Kanon glared back at him, spun on her heel, and left, slamming the door behind her. Leon had no choice but to stay where he was and wait for her to get back.

It only took her a moment to open the door again, holding a roll of duct tape and a phone. She left the phone by the plate, and stepped closer while pulling out a strip of tape. Leon stepped away.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to phone her, you can listen, but you can't say a word. Do you understand?"

He did. The fury of being muted was calmed only by the thought of hearing her voice again. When he thought about it, he wasn't entirely sure he remembered what it sounded like. He nodded, and Kanon tore off the tape and came closer. She pressed it to his lips and smoothed it down, making sure he wouldn't be able to get any words out. Then she went back to the phone, with him hovering at her heels, and pressed a familiar number into it. That was Naegi's house. As far as Leon knew, he lived there alone. "You know this number?" Leon nodded. "Good." Then she pressed the call button, and switched it over to speakerphone.

It was answered on the second ring, and a familiar voice piped up.

"Hello?"

Leon's heart skipped. That was Naegi's voice. Not strange, considering the number she'd dialled, but just hearing a voice that wasn't Kanon felt like a breath of air.

"Hello, Naegi. It's Nakajima Kanon. Is Maizono there?"

"Oh, hey Nakajima-san. Yeah, she's here, I'll put her on."

"Thank you."

There was a pause, some mumbling he couldn't make out, and then another voice.

"Hello, Nakajima-san. How are you?"

A flurry of emotions took over, leaving Leon feeling lightheaded. That was her. She had no idea where he was, if he was even alive or not. He couldn't help the faint whine from hearing her voice again, but it seemed like the phone didn't pick up on it. Why was she at Naegi's house, this early in the morning?

"I'm doing well, thanks. How about you?"

"Oh, you know. Holding up."

"Yes, but Naegi being with you helps, doesn't it?"

"It really does. Without Leon, I find the house is awfully big and quiet. I'm glad he took me in so quickly. Everything there reminds me of Leon, it's too hard to be there right now."

"I'm happy for you two. It must be a relief to have someone that'll hold your hand, hmm?"

"It is, yes. I thought you were upset about that, when I mentioned it."

"Oh, not at all. I'm glad you told me, and very happy for you. That's something you need." Kanon paused and looked over at Leon. "I've looked after Leon, there's nothing to worry about. I always feed him his favourites and make sure to give him lots of love."

"Yes, thank you for that..." There was a hesitation in her voice, but her words came nonetheless. _She knew he was here?_ Why wasn't she helping him? Why hadn't she called the police, or shown up herself? "How is he?"

"He's just fine. I'm sure he wants to say hello right now." Leon's ears pricked and he made a muffled noise, straining closer to the phone, but Kanon twisted away and pushed his face back with one hand.

"Oh, best not to hold the phone up just now. I have to get going, Naegi-kun is taking me out in a little while. He's been so good to me, Nakajima-san. You wouldn't believe it. Just last night he took me for dinner after getting the pictures done."

"How nice for you two. Have a nice time, Maizono. My best to you both."

"Goodbye, Nakajima-san. Thanks for checking in. And thanks for taking care of him for me."

"My pleasure."

Click. Kanon looked at Leon, total apathy written on her face, already painfully familiar with that breaking feeling in his chest. He could feel hot tears on his cheeks, where the tape didn't cover, and stared back at her. She'd been right. More than just going out with Naegi, she knew he was here, and didn't care. Was anyone going to save him? Would they even try?

"You see? I couldn't let you propose to her. I was trying to protect you from having your heart broken, and now look at what you've made me do." Kanon grabbed the edge of the tape and gave it a sharp yank, a loud ripping sound to go with the pain on his face, and walked out the door without another word. Leon didn't realize when he started shaking, or when he'd started to bawl. His heart had been broken by girls before, but this time, when he needed her more than ever, she wasn't there for him. She turned her back and ran to another man the moment he went missing. More than that, if Kanon was right, she'd been with Naegi before Leon had even gone missing. Over rough breaths and tears he couldn't wipe away, he saw the blurred-out breakfast Kanon had brought him. It was close enough that, with this new chain, he could reach it.

He drank the entire orange juice through the straw, and ate off the plate with his teeth.

The rest of the day was a painless blur.

Kanon had come back later, when the noise had stopped, concerned about why he'd calmed down. She was surprised to see him laying back on the mattress, energy gone while he gave a few light, spaced-out cries he probably wouldn't remember very well, thanks to the empty dishes she'd expected not to have been touched. He'd been laying on his front, the cuffed hands behind him painful reminders of the lengths she had to go to to keep him here. She took the used dishes away and left him a while.

Later, she'd returned during his normal meal time, finding him sitting on the mattress with his back against the wall, staring at the wall opposite looking the saddest she'd ever seen him. It broke her heart to see her beloved like this, and when she walked over to him, he didn't so much as blink.

"Big Brother," she started. "Are you alright?" He slowly shook his head.

"You were right," he mumbled. "She's moved on already."

"I'm sorry, Big Brother. Do you want something to eat?"

"I don't wanna feel."

"I understand." she returned with a fresh meal, and a heavier dose. If the only version of him she could keep was the docile, spaced-out version, then that's the version she'd never leave. Big Brother was Big Brother, no matter how passive she made him, it was still him. He didn't say much more over the day. Maybe the dosage was a little too high, because when she returned with dinner, she couldn't wake him up for it.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Come morning, Leon woke up in his own home again. He let out a soft, contented sigh, and nuzzled into the pillow. It smelled like Sayaka's shampoo. He rolled over to see if she was awake yet, if not, to kiss her awake. He was startled when he heard a chain rattle, and opened his eyes properly to find Kanon standing over him, staring at him. He jumped and squirmed to sit up properly, but found a sharp pain in his stomach, which made him groan and stay laying down. That's right. He wasn't at home. The shampoo in his pillow was Kanon's. The girl that had kidnapped and drugged him, told his girlfriend where he was and let him listen to a phone call to prove she was cheating on him. He sighed and looked up at Kanon, feeling defeated, wanting more of the drugs that just made him feel numb. But... He'd skipped another dose, hadn't he? He had no memory of a third meal in the day, just being overwhelmingly tired after the second.

"What time is it?" He groaned, wishing he could rub his head and hold his stomach.

"It's lunchtime. You've slept nearly a full day, I was starting to get worried..." She sat down on the edge of his mattress and sighed in relief. "I gave you too much, didn't I? I'm figuring out the right amounts. I'll just give you the normal dose for today, okay?"

"Kanon..." He squirmed in discomfort. "My stomach is killing me."

"That's a side effect, it's usually better with food, but I messed up the ratio yesterday. You just seemed so upset, I didn't know what to do!" She whined and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his shoulder. "I love you so much. It kills me to see you like that. Do you want more right now?"

"I don't want more," he mumbled. "I don't... I don't wanna be sedated for tomorrow." Kanon gave a tiny gasp. "It's really important that I'm not... that I'm thinking right. I wanna be thinking right. It's important. Can I have some water? Just water?" She hesitated, but nodded and got up to get him what he'd requested.

A drink helped clear his head. After letting her wash his hair and brush his teeth again, he was feeling a little better about his situation. So yesterday had been hell. So he'd gotten some bad news and felt discouraged. There was still a light at the end of the tunnel, he could still escape tomorrow. Maybe he couldn't go back to his girlfriend, he could still go back to his life. His dreams. They didn't need to include her. Kanon sat beside him on the mattress, holding the now-empty glass in her lap and looking over at him with concern.

"You won't take any more?"

Leon shook his head. "Not today. I wanna be clear for tomorrow, I can't pass out for another full day. And that stuff... That's gotta be bad for me. You want me to be at my best too, right? If I can't go back to _her_..." He looked down, knowing the heartbreak in his voice would sound genuine. "Are my options really just _'be drugged or be alone'?_ If I'm with you, I wanna be _with_ you. I wanna forget about Sayaka. The sooner the better."

"Will you yell at me again?"

Again, he shook his head, staring at the floor.

"I'll be good."

Kanon pressed a kiss into his cheek, and he didn't pull away when she did, just stayed staring at the floor.

What was left of the day passed fairly uneventfully. Though, in the late evening, Kanon had shown up in her sleepwear and laid down beside him. He turned to his side, facing her, and cuddled up close. She hummed in happiness and shifted close, and he knew she was imagining his arm around her like a proper hug. Instead, she squirmed and moved the chain out from under her, and cosied up for the night.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Me too." She sighed and held her face, and he didn't know how he knew it was blushing. "Waking up beside Big Brother, then spending the whole day together..!" And, quietly, in a high-pitched and excited squeak, "Yababa..!"

Admittedly, that had made him smile. She was so crazy in love with him, it was absurd.

"I'm pretty tired today," he mumbled, to cut off the conversation. "We can talk more tomorrow."

"Okay. Good night, Big Brother."

"G'night," he paused a second before adding, "Babe." She curled in on herself and squeaked. It felt gross to say it, but appeasing her was his only hope for getting the chain off tomorrow. "I wish I could hug you," he said softly, barely above a whisper, and nodded into the pillow. After that, it was quiet, Kanon hopefully thinking exactly what he wanted her to think. _If only he could hug her._ If only he wasn't chained. If only, for one day, he could hug her and stop complaining about how much his arms hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns out i lied about what was gonna happen in this one. haha. whoopsies. next time he'll make his daring escape so stay tuned kids
> 
> what do you think about sayaka though huh thats some pretty scandalous shit


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for blood this time 'round :3c

The coming morning, Leon felt like garbage. There was no soft, slow fade into memory. No moments of being no one with no worries. It felt like being shocked back into reality. The terrible, painful reality, that tightened around his chest and made him wish he was still asleep. Sayaka... Had all of that been true? There was no doubt, Kanon had dialed Naegi's landline in the morning, and Sayaka had been there. She knew Leon was with Kanon, she knew he was alive and alright, she just didn't care. It made his entire being ache. Kanon was cuddled up in front of him, of course. Salt in the wound. He wished she'd just leave him alone for a while.

But this was it- this was his chance to escape from her. He just had to be an actor for a few hours. She stirred and turned over to face him, smiling and hugging around his torso. His heart really wasn't in this.

"Good morning, Big Brother," she hummed. "Happy anniversary."

Couldn't she have stayed asleep for an hour or so? He really didn't want to have to do this. He wanted to lay around and mope, wallow in self-pity and just feel like a defeatist. But it was his only chance. Just for a little while. Then he could kick down Naegi's door, yank him off of Sayaka and rearrange his face.

"Morning," he mumbled, pretending to be more asleep than he was. He squirmed in an attempt to stretch out, mostly just his legs, then relaxed again with a sigh. "You sleep good?"

"The best," she purred, and nuzzled her face up into him. He gave himself a moment to resign to the day, and nestled his face up by her shoulder. For a moment, she didn't move, and he wasn't really sure what to do. She was just content to stay holding him like this, and he wasn't sure how long he'd be stuck in this spot, feigning like he was enjoying it. She eventually freed him from the awkwardness to speak. "Does it count as breakfast in bed if that's how you always have it?" He'd planned to suggest he make dinner, but breakfast was even better. Was it too soon to suggest? He was speaking before deciding.

"What if I made it for you?" Kanon didn't answer, but he felt the mood shift to something colder. "I wanna treat you, you're always so good to me and all I do is sit around." For good measure, he squirmed up closer to her, trying to show some sort of affection to convince her.

"I don't know, Big Brother..."

"C'mon, what d'you think will happen? That I'm gonna crawl back to that cheating whore?" He needed to be more convincing. He pulled back to look at her face, hoping she wouldn't see the lies in his eyes. "You _saved_ me from that, Kanon. I'm better off with you." She stared back at him, biting her lip as if trying to decide something.

"I love you, Big Brother," she draped her arms over his shoulders and leaned in to kiss his forehead. Out of desperation, he tilted his head up to return the kiss, and she broke it the instant it started, lips still pulled into a heart shape and eyes wide in surprise. He stayed put, worried he'd pushed too far, while her eyes darted over him. Trying to kiss her tied his stomach in a knot, but he had to get out of here. Whatever it took. "I-I'll get breakfast, okay?" She fumbled over the words and clumsily got to her feet, face going red as she hurried out of the room and swung the door closed behind her. It stayed open a crack. He watched the gap in the door for a moment, then got to his feet and walked closer. The chain went taught before he could get to it, but when he twisted his arms back, he could see a little ways out the space. The living space was to his right, the kitchenette was ahead of him, and the front door just behind it. Left of that was the bathroom. Yes, he was sure that's how the apartment was laid out. He strained for a look at the front door. It was difficult to see, too far away and obscured, but there were definitely two locks. First, he'd have to slide open the chain. Then the deadbolt. Then there was likely one in the handle as well, though he couldn't tell for sure from this distance. He could ignore the tape over the peephole. Briefly looking out into the hallway would be pointless anyway.

As he'd been squinting through the small gap, a shadow passed over it and made him jump. It was Kanon, coming from the living space towards the door, already pushing it open before he could step back. She was in the middle of tying up her hair when she saw him standing in the middle of the room, staring back at her and looking surprised. She finished tying the bow and blinked at him.

"Did you want help with breakfast?" He tried to cover and stop an awkward silence from appearing. "I thought we were gonna spend the whole day together. Can I help? Or... Watch, maybe?" If he was out of this room, at least that was something. Kanon sighed.

"Big Brother, don't tell me you're going to be, like, super ingy-clay now!"

"Hah?"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" ... Was she talking about being clingy? The urge to tease her about it was tough to resist. Just remember what's at stake. She laughed and practically skipped up to him, catching him in a tight hug. "You honestly can't wait just a few minutes? It has to finish cooking first."

"What does?"

"I'm making a hu-u-uge breakfast for my beloved Big Brother!"

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm! Grilled fish and miso soup, and some fresh rice, and some tamagoyaki and natto and-"

"That's a lot..."

"Yes! A _feast_ for my love!" She squeezed him in her arms.

"You sure you don't want help with that?"

"Mm... Maybe not just yet, but... You could keep me company, if you want. I think that would be okay."

"Sounds good!" He didn't mean to sound quite that excited, but she seemed to take it well.

"Okay, just let me set up for you in the other room, and I'll be right back." She zipped back out of his room, this time leaving the door entirely open when she turned the corner towards the living area. He couldn't tell what she was doing, but returned his attention to the front door. Come to think of it, there was more than one strip of tape on the peephole. There was two or three, one above the other, blocking out what must be a particularly large opening.

... Why? It was too far away to clearly make out if there was damage or something. Before too long, Kanon came back and stopped him from trying to figure out any more. She was holding a glass of orange juice with a straw.

"I realized you haven't had anything to drink this morning. You must be thirsty, right?" She held it towards him, and he hesitated. "... Is something wrong, Big Brother?"

"Is that..?" He gave the glass a suspicious look.

"Don't you trust me, Big Brother?"

His stomach flipped. On the one hand, he could drink it and try to make his escape while drugged. On the other, she wouldn't let him out of this room if he didn't drink it. Neither were ideal choices.

"Do you really want that?" He tried to sound heartbroken, and it came out convincing, but for a different reason that what he hoped Kanon would read it as. "I thought we were gonna just spend the day together. I don't wanna be sleepy and disoriented the whole time, I wanna remember it and hold conversations and stay up as late as you do." Kanon shook her head.

"It's only a _teeny_ bit." She held up two fingers close together, and raised her voice a pitch to make a point. "Teeny tiny. It probably won't last very long either, it's such a small ose-day that it might as well be nothing at all!"

"Then why give it to me?"

"Just to help move you over, that's all."

"What about your birthday? I wasn't drugged then, and I stayed with you just like you said."

"You were. I wanted to give you _more,_ that's all. But you'd had lots, just to help you relax."

Though he remembered passively looking around instead of making his escape, he didn't remember being particularly _unable_ to. He'd felt somewhat docile, sure, he'd let her wash him and only given disinterested glances around the room, but if the thought had occurred to him, and if his hands were free... He let out a sigh and stepped closer to her, leaned over and slowly drank the orange juice.

Kanon watched him, and he lifted his eyes to look back at her, trying to seem disappointed or sad without being angry. He'd never been much of an actor, though, and had no idea if it seemed convincing. There was a strange taste to it that he couldn't quite place, but he had a pretty good idea on what it was. It took him a moment, but he eventually finished the glass, save for a few drops at the bottom, and let out a breath when it was gone.

"There."

Kanon beamed.

"Yababa, Big Brother trusts me!"

His head felt a little light. He attributed it to drinking the drug too quickly, but shook his head abruptly to snap focus back. Kanon left for a moment, and he stayed shaking his head and trying to clear it. When she came back, she moved in a strange, blurred slow-motion, and he found himself struggling to keep his balance. He stumbled a step or two, squinting at her and trying to understand why such a small dose had just a strange effect, when it occurred to him that she could've been lying.

"What did...?" He blinked a few times and shook his head violently. "What's?" The next thing he remembered was the word blurring and darkening, and then nothing.

When his vision came back to him, he was slouched in a chair, and his head was pounding. Other senses followed. The dry, bitter taste in his mouth that made him shift his pierced tongue around. The smell of cooking food. The churn of his stomach when he lifted his head and squinted around at where he was.

This was... The small table near the kitchenette. He was sitting in one of the two chairs, slightly turned towards the kitchenette, where he could see Kanon flipping an omelete, apparently not yet aware that he was awake. He went to hold his head on reflex.

To his surprise, it didn't meet the resistance of his chain. He snapped to alertness and held both hands in front of him. His left wrist wore a metal shackle, attached to a chain, but it was only the one, and he could move his arms freely in front of him again. His shoulders screamed in relief, and he bent his elbows a few times to work the rust out. He'd never imagine that moving his arms could feel so good.

The sound of the chain got Kanon's attention, and her face lit up when she saw the smile on his face.

"You seem so happy!"

He flexed his fingers out, rubbed one of his shoulders, ran a hand through his hair. Though the constant clanking of the new chain was annoying, it was nothing compared to the use of his arms.

"You've got no idea how good this feels," he kept moving his arms around, overshadowing the pain in his stomach and head with delight at being able to simply fold his elbows. He felt an itch on his cheek, and scratched it. Amazing. He held his sore head and ran his hands through his hair, realizing she hadn't spiked it up right but not really minding it.

"Yababa!" He looked over to see Kanon smiling brightly, holding her face in her hands. "You like that new bracelet, too?"

"Bracelet?"

Kanon walked over and pulled at his shackle.

"This!"

He felt like snapping at her that it wasn't a fashion statement, but noticed the front door behind her, and let it go. More importantly, where was the end of this new chain? He followed it with his eyes along the floor.

"Yeah, it's so much better. I really can't explain..." There it was. The chain ended with it's final link staked into the wall with a thick piece of metal. That looked like it might be a weak point, but he couldn't test it while she was staring at him like that. It seemed to be a fairly long chain, too. In fact, if he walked straight to the front door, he might just be able to make it. If he really strained his arms. Maybe. Even with the chain, if he shouted outside, and got someone's attention...

"Can't explain what?"

"Hah?"

"You said you can't explain something?"

"Oh, right, I can't explain how good it feels to move my arms again. Seriously... Thanks." He rubbed the wrist that wasn't chained, finding it had a notable mark around it from the other shackles. He'd like to say it was red, compressed, a little sore but not bad. In reality, it carried dark purple marks, that hurt to touch if he wasn't gentle. He made a fist and found his wrist hurting from the tension. It wasn't so bad he couldn't manage, but it wasn't ideal, either.

"You've been so good. I thought I'd need this short little thing, that you'd never get to use your arms and always have to be sleepy..."

Leon looked up from his bruised wrist, still rubbing over it with his other hand. That one likely had matching marks, but they were hidden under his new 'bracelet'.

"I don't wanna be like that."

"I know, I didn't think you'd _like_ it, either." She stood just in front of him, sighed, and rested a hand on either one of his shoulders. "You've made me so happy, Big Brother. I want to stay with you forever." She pulled him into a hug, and he realised he could actually return it. Not only that, she was probably _expecting_ it. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around her, making sure it was tight. In return she tightened her arms around him and squeaked in happiness. Her heart was pounding like a rabbit- he could feel it against his chest, along with the rest of her body. Yuck. Luckily she broke off to stop the omelete from burning before it felt too uncomfortable. He ran his hands through his hair a few times. When it was loose like this, it felt strange.

"What _was_ that stuff?"

"Hmm?"

"In the orange juice? It was different, wasn't it?"

"Oh, yes, it was. It's much stronger than what you usually have."

"You told me it was smaller."

"I didn't lie- it was! I only gave you a teeny bit!"

This wasn't worth fighting. She just had two types. One was weak, but lasted a long time, and she had kept him on it for most of the time he'd been here. It made him sleepy and passive. The other, she'd given him when he first got here, when she'd changed his chain, and just now. It was stronger, knocked him out within a few minutes, and gave him terrible headaches and stomach pains when he woke up a while later. They must be horrible for his heart, he figured. What kinds of side effects should he expect? Kidney failure? Impotence? He got to his feet, still stretching out his sore arms. There was no point in staying in that chair. He might as well take a better look around.

Everything was more or less how he remembered it, but in clearer detail. The living area was messy, with some changes of clothes left laying around, and a pile of neatly folded ones that he recognised as his own. He glanced back at the chain as he walked over to them, to make sure it wouldn't snap taught and yank on his already sore wrist. It got him close, but not quite there. There was no mistake, these were his clothes. Behind them was a window, that he thought he remembered from a few days ago. There's no way he could reach it to pull down the curtain or open it and yell outside. It seemed like she hadn't slept on the couch in a while. Which made sense, he supposed, considering she slept with him most nights. He returned over by the kitchenette. The length of his chain meant there wasn't much to explore, but it was nice to be somewhere else, for a change. He looked at the peg she'd staked into the wall for a moment.

"Can you do that, in an apartment building?" He pointed at it. "Like, isn't it gonna get you in trouble, later?"

Kanon looked over at the damaged wall and shrugged.

"Daddy will pay for any damage."

Leon looked at the wall, then the front door, then the wall again. "Does it go through to the next apartment?"

"No, this one is on the end."

So it _was_ an apartment.

"What about the one on the floor? Is that bothering the guys below?"

"No one has rented that one."

Hmm. So stomping wouldn't do any good. But there had to be people on the opposide side, other neighbours he could alert with loud noises, or by banging on the connecting wall. He was actually a little surprised Kanon was giving him this information so liberally. He idly watched her continuing to prepare his food, waiting for the moment she spiked it with something, but she never added anything that wasn't a normal ingredient. Then she simply brought it over to the table on several plates, and took the chair opposite him. It wasn't prepared perfectly, a few burns here and there, undercooked areas, too much of one condiment and not enough of another. But he picked up the chopsticks provided and fiddled with them in his hand.

It was nice to finally be able to feed himself again. He made idle conversation with her, eating and drinking at his own pace, asking if she had more once he'd finished his plate. She happily got it for him, even though he could've done it himself, and waited for him to finish.

Just like before, the food helped calm his stomach. And knowing it wasn't drugged was a relief. He just had to find his opportunity. What should he do first? Yank the peg in the wall and see if it would come off? Knock Kanon out, maybe with whatever drug she had somewhere around here? Try to convince her to take this remaining shackle off? While he'd been distracted with thoughts and food, Kanon had excused herself to the washroom, and he followed her with his eyes to the moment she closed the door. The moment it latched, he got to his feet and started rummaging through the cabinets. Where was the drug? What did it look like? Was it a powder? A liquid? Would it be labelled? There were foods, mostly things he liked, a few snack things or drink mixes, ingredients, instant ramen... Another held plates, bowls and cups, a lower cabinet had baking sheets, pots and pans...

The door opened and Kanon looked over at him. He dug for an excuse.

"I dropped my knife," he explained. "I can't find your other ones. You've got more, right?" Kanon walked over without a word, pulled open a drawer and nudged a few pill bottles aside to take out a knife. He stared at the drawer as she closed it and held up the clean utensil for him.

"Right there."

"Thanks." He took them from her and returned to his plate, and continued eating as if he hadn't seen anything.

Once he was done, Kanon collected the plates and left them in the sink for later. She returned to her chair and looked over at him.

"What do you want to do now?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you wanted to plan something out. What did you plan for today?"

Oh, crap. He'd forgotten to make an actual plan for her. The only thing he'd put thought into was how he was going to escape. He smacked the side of his head.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I was... That phone call, and then I was sleeping, and... I'm really sorry, Kanon- is there something you want me to do to make it up?" Her expression fell, but she shook her head.

"No, that's fine. Just spending time with you is enough."

He needed to get his hand free, first and foremost. It wouldn't matter if he knocked her out and couldn't leave before she woke up. He couldn't get to the door without gnawing off his arm. Everything depended on getting that shackle off.

"We can watch a movie," he suggested. If he was right, the only TV was in his room, out of reach of this chain. To get to it, she'd have to take it off.

"Okay." Kanon got up, but glanced his chain and hesitated. "I... I'll bring the TV over here. We can watch it on the couch." Leon looked over at the couch near the pile of clothes. He shook his head and waved his chained arm.

"It's too far, and too heavy for you to lift by yourself."

"It's not too heavy, I put it in there."

He just pulled the chain again. Kanon pouted.

"Choberiba, Big Brother..."

"Yeah." Neither of them said anything for a moment. She stared at the chain, he stared at the cuff on his wrist. "Y'know, you can just take it off."

"What?"

"I dunno what I have to do to prove I won't run away," he sighed. "Can you believe that I won't, just for today?"

"Big Brother..."

"I knew it would knock me out, but I drank that juice anyway. I've been good, haven't I?"

Kanon bit her lip. "C'mon, I trust you, don't you trust me too?"

"Maybe... More juice..."

"C'mon, if I keep havin' that stuff I'm gonna need a new liver before my birthday." He absently held his side. "Just thinking about havin' more of that is makin' me feel sick."

"You could eat some raw flour," she suggested. "I have some."

"What?"

"That helps you throw up. If you want to lose weight, you can eat raw flour to feel sick, and it makes it easier..."

"Kanon, what're you talkin' about? I'm not gonna do that! I don't _wanna_ feel sick!" There was an uncomfortable quiet, and he sighed and fiddled with the chain. "I dunno how to prove it to you. I really just... I want it off." It was true, of course, but not for the reason he was saying. Kanon seemed torn. Just a little push. He pouted and leaned over his arm on the table, taking a moment to just stare at her and try to think of another argument. He was always terrible at debate. Almost as terrible at acting. Why couldn't he convince her by running really fast or throwing something? There had to be something else he was good at.

Well, there was _one_  other thing he was good at.

He got to his feet. Kanon watched every detail as he walked closer to her. He'd done this a thousand times to plenty of girls. It was, in a way, lucky, that it's exactly what she wanted him to do. He had a reputation as a heart breaker, and right now, that was his only hope. He leaned over her and brushed her hair out of her face, feeling the nervousness on her, but leaning in with a forced smile to kiss her anyway. She tensed, but he didn't let go. It had been a while since he'd kissed anyone, but it wasn't something he could forget that easily. It helped that Kanon was inexperienced. Anything he did wrong, she'd think was her own mistake. But even after his best effort, she still seemed so damn tense. He broke it off, and heard a soft whine escape her. He slowly exhaled, still close enough to kiss, still holding the side of her face from brushing back her hair. "Take it off," he kept his voice soft. "You're making me crazy. Take it off and we can get to the bed."

Having his face so close to his cousin stirred up a feeling of disgust. The impulse was to pull away and wipe his tongue with both hands while making a disgusted noise and spinning in circles. But if she believed him, if she took it off, he wouldn't have to take it any further. His chain clinked over her shoulder. He hoped it was annoying. Otherwise, he would've brushed away her hair with his right hand. Hopefully it was just as heavy and awkward to her as it was to him. Kanon bit her lip and fidgeted. He could read her body language easily. Like any other girl after a kiss she liked, Kanon was obviously itching for more. But he didn't plan on giving her anything until she unlocked his hand. As soon as she did, he would take the knife she'd gotten him and bury it in her ribs. It was right there on the table, within arm's reach.

To his surprise, though, she flung her arms over his neck and forced him into another kiss. His eyes went wide and he tried to pull back, giving a muffled noise of surprise, but she was latched on too tightly for him to get away. He was leaning back with so much of his strength that it was difficult to balance properly, and he took a step and a half backwards to get away without falling over. The chain knocked his foot, still with enough slack that it wouldn't trip him, but it clinked loudly on the tile when he bumped it. His hands autopiloted to her shoulders to pull her off of him, giving her a rough shove.

She let him pull off and looked at his eyes, confusion in hers. It didn't need to be her voice asking why he was pushing her away for him to hear it. For a moment they just stared at each other, Kanon's arms around his neck, the heels of Leon's hands pressed into her collarbone to keep her away. She slowly loosened her hold and melted away from him, and he suddenly realized what a mistake he'd made. All that work to make her think he was serious, that she could trust him, that he _wanted_ her...

"Kanon, wait!" She was walking away with frost on her shoulders, almost at the front door before he was shocked into action. He hurried after her to stop her from leaving. Midway into the kitchenette, the chain went taught and yanked at his arm. He turned back and held his shoulder in unexpected pain. "Ow, fuck! Kanon!" She had one hand on the handle, the other on the deadbolt, stopped and looking over at him while he held his shoulder, arm out straight to his side to grant more length. There was desperation on his face, pain on hers. "Kanon, don't leave. Please, don't leave." She didn't move, but didn't come back, either. "Please. Take this off, please. Take it off and I'll do whatever you want. Anything." He swallowed and built himself up. " _Anything._ " Slowly, she walked back to him, held his face in one hand. He gave a hopeful smile.

"I just want you to love me."

"I _do_." He was saying it before thinking it through. "I _love_ you. Kanon, _I love you_. I've loved you for _years_." It was obvious on her face that she wasn't believing him. Her face was too far away to try kissing her again, his arm still out towards the wall it was chained to. He was at the end of his rope, literally. What could he do? She slowly shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, tears starting to leak down her cheeks. Without a word she turned back around and returned to the front door. "Kanon," he pulled as close after her as he could, hurting his arm to strain after her. She opened the deadbolt, and he turned back to see the chain. He held it in both hands and pulled with all his strength. It didn't budge. He yanked it again, and louder, "Kanon!" No change. The door clicked behind him and he turned around in alarm. "Kanon, come back! Just let me do that over! Anything you want! I love you! I do, I honestly love you!" The door closed gently behind her, and he heard locks being closed and her phone keys tapping behind it. "Kanon!" He yelled as loudly as he could, but only heard her footsteps down the hall. In frustration he pulled at the chain again and again, adjusting his stance, putting his weight into it... Nothing helped. It didn't budge a hair. How had she fixed it in so well? It must've been cemented into the wall. After a few minutes of struggling and shouting pointlessly, he tried to look at other options.

Alright, what was in his favour? He wasn't in that same room anymore. Only one hand was chained. He knew where the drugs were. All good things. He let the chain go slack and stood by the table. Maybe... He held the shackle in one hand and tried to twist his wrist free. It only took a second before it started to hurt, but he pulled anyway. Further. He grit his teeth and kept pulling. The bones in his wrists started to feel like he'd been pulling a gap into them. All the force he had, to the point where both hands were shaking, before finally giving out and slamming his fist on the table. He hadn't even gotten over his wrist.

That wouldn't work. He looked around for another option. The drugs were pointless. What could he do with them now? Eat them himself? He looked closer at the bolt in the wall. It was welded in place. _Welded_. He kicked it and fumed in the radius his new chain allowed him. The window was too far. He picked up his fork and threw it at the window. Perfect aim, of course, and with shocking speed. But it just hit the curtain with a dull 'whap' and fell to the floor. He picked up the knife and prepared to throw again, but looked at it and hesitated. He slowly looked down at the shackled hand.

His heart rate was raised before the decision was made. He pulled open the drawer with the drugs and took out all three bottles. One was marked as a 'soporific', another bottle said 'anxiolytic' and the third said 'tranquilizer'. He didn't really understand which was which, and reading the label didn't help, much. He opened the one with 'hypnotic' on the label's smaller print. That probably meant it was weaker, right? It was just a hypnotic, like a soothing voice or swinging pendulum. Inside were white pills. Kanon must usually crush them up. He popped one in his mouth and drank straight from the tap to wash it down. He found one of Kanon's shirts close enough to reach, and tied it tightly around his wrist. Then he found a wooden spoon, put it in his mouth and held it tightly in his teeth. In moments his hand was laid flat on the kitchen counter, and he took a slow breath to calm himself down. Alright, he didn't have to cut off the whole thing, just a portion. Just to make his hand narrow enough to slip out of the cuff. The drug was starting to take effect. He could feel his heart slowing down in his chest, but his breathing was still fast, and he hadn't even gotten started yet.

No time for hesitating. He quickly weighed his options. His thumb would get rid of the most mass, but then he couldn't hold a bat properly. His pinky would be less of a loss, but wouldn't take out enough of the meat of his hand to fit out of the cuff. He shook his head to focus his vision and bit down on the spoon. The blade gently pressed against the webbing between his thumb and forefinger. He closed his eyes and took a few breaths. What was it his dad had always said? One for the money, two for the show. Inhale. Three to get ready, four to... Exhale... _Go_.

The skin pushed inward, then buckled. Pain shot through his hand and his fingers twisted involuntarily. He bit down hard and stifled his pained noises into the wood. His head spun, but he pressed harder. Blood pooled on the counter and dripped down the ledge. It was getting harder and harder to focus on anything. It was a blur of red, starting to darken at the edges.

Suddenly, he hit bone. Fresh agony twisted in his hand and his hold on the knife faltered. It had become slippery and difficult to hold, but he fixed his grip and pressed on again, pain skewing his vision. Realization crept into his mind. This wasn't going to work. The blade wasn't sharp enough to get through his bone. The flesh up to that point had been no problem, but now... He loosened his hold and let his hand go lax. There was blood all down the counter, dripping thickly onto the floor and getting on his bare feet. He felt dizzy. The knife stayed wedged in his hand when he loosened his hold on it, and he could feel the serrated edge against his bone. He tried to lift it out cleanly.

The drug was helping to dull the pain, or at least make him care less about it. Thankfully. He quietly praised himself on that idea, and gingerly edged the shackle closer, to see where it was catching on his hand. Just there, at the bone of his thumb. He couldn't cut through that. On the opposite side was just a fleshy, meaty part of his palm, but cutting through that would be pointless. It was already flat. No, it had to be his thumb. He took a shaking breath. If he sawed with the knife, he could probably work his way through, but he didn't think he could handle that pain long enough to get it done. Maybe the fresh cut had given more leeway.

One more time. He pulled at the shackle. The blood had made it slippery, and it managed to slide farther than before. Come on. _Come on_. A _little_ more to get over the bulk of his wrist. Both hands shook from the force and pain, and his right lost it's grip more than once. It suddenly shot forward and wedged against the new gouge in his hand. He cried out in pain and desperately yanked at it, hot tears and hot blood, heavy breath and heart pounding in his throat. Bones tugged away from each other, a strange, gooey sensation around the pain, but he kept clawing at the brace, desperate to get it off.

The shackle fell to the ground with a metal clatter. A dull, fleshy thump followed. He gave an adrenaline-filled, out-of-breath smile, seeing the chain laying in a pool of blood. He looked at his trembling hand.

All things considered, it wasn't too bad. All four fingers were intact. He could see the bone on the side, a vacant space where his thumb used to be. Flesh had been stripped back when he dragged the shackle over it, but when he got to a hospital he was sure it would be alright. Doctors could fix that, he was sure of it. The joint burned with a hot, watery pain, and it felt cold in the exposed air. He considered rinsing it out in the sink, but instead, looked to the front door.

In an instant he was at it. He held what was left of his hand in his armpit, hoping the pressure would help, ignoring the splitting pain as best he could. He had to stumble to get to it, but forced his vision to focus just a little longer. Almost there. Almost out of here. Almost back in bed for a lazy morning with Sayaka.

He twisted the deadbolt and pulled the handle.

It didn't budge. He looked at the draw chain. Open. The deadbolt. Open. He moved his hand to open the lock in the handle, and tested it turned the other way, but it made no difference. What was he missing? He yanked it harder, with the expected result. Surely that piece of tape made no difference... He yanked it off the peephole. He went to try the handle again, but froze. Under that strip of tape wasn't a peephole. It was some piece of hardware he knew instantly.

... No. No, no no no no _no no **no no**_. He stared at it and felt the blood still in his body go cold. _An electric lock_. He stumbled backwards step, then let himself fall over, still staring at the lock. He _remembered_ it. He _remembered_ Kanon showing him a picture of it in a magazine, _it was the newest thing_ , she'd said. _Daddy was getting it for their house_ , she'd said. _So next time he wanted to visit her, he needed the remote key_ , she'd told him. _An app he could put in his phone, one button and it would open, one more and it would lock. Don't worry, Big Brother, yours will always work._

He'd heard her phone through the door. The password and lock screen, a moment to close the door's lock, then she'd walked away.

It didn't _matter_ if he got out of the chain. His energy was depleting fast, vision blurring like earlier today. Shit... Had he taken the stronger drug? He only meant to stop himself from bleeding too much, maybe calm down a little so he could get it done. He could feel his face contorting in pain, and he couldn't stop himself from wailing. What did he have left? His girlfriend cheated on him. She knew he was here and hadn't sent for help. Kanon really _was_ the only one that cared about him. He looked at his hand through blurry vision.  All this time he'd been just desperate to escape, but... He'd ruined his hand. He couldn't hold a bat, or the neck of a guitar. Would a surgeon even be able to repair this? So many tiny, delicate bones, and he'd just _torn_ through the sinew and veins. The bulk of it was a clean cut, but it didn't do anything to help the raw edge of the torn joint. What had he hoped for, screaming girls and limousines? He glanced back at the floor, over where the shackle was still laying on the tile. It was coated in blood, but the lump of flesh was impossible to mistake. Had the drugs screwed with his decision making, or had he actually made that choice? Had he honestly risked all that just to get out of here? Was he really that reckless? He hadn't even considered the possibility of not being able to get out the door. Why didn't that occur to him?

He felt overwhelmed. His vision was too difficult to keep in focus, and after the realization that he couldn't get out had sunk in, the need to stay awake fell away. He stared hopelessly at the lock on the door, pleading with it to open.

Through his blurry vision, he saw the angle of the door skew, and didn't understand until Kanon came into view. She was holding... something kinda yellow? He couldn't tell. It fell to the ground and she yelped, kicked the door shut again and got closer to him, crouching down to him. It happened in a strange slow-motion, but faded to black before Kanon got to him.

Had he honestly thought he was getting out of here? He was so _stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things got messy huh
> 
> stay tuned for more messed up stuff next timeeee  
> so what do you think maybe he should stay with his fruit loops cousin after all huh  
> doesnt seem like much of a life is waiting for him outside, especially now that he's messed up his hand  
> it's ok leon you can still play it lefty lots of people do that you'll be fine you wanted to be a singer anyway shh its ok


	5. Chapter 5

How long had he been here?

His head hurt. His stomach hurt. But both were just mild irritations compared to his hand. Memory came back when he tried to move his hand away from whatever was hurting. Fresh agony skewed in his palm and wrist, making him want to tense his fingers, but there was a piercing pain in his thumb when he tried.

In his... Thumb? He hazily looked around. The roof stared back at him. Literally stared. There was a mirror on the ceiling..? Oh, no, that was a photograph. Of himself. What. He held his head in his right hand.

More accurately, tried to. His heart sank to realize his wrist was confined. Though chains didn't clink, this time. He looked down towards his wrist. The tie was some kind of black fabric. The more awake he became, the more things started to make sense. These were the sorts of velcro ties in hospital TV dramas, when the patient was having a seizure or trying to run away. Was that where he was? A hospital? He looked to his left hand. There were thick bandages around it, just the bruise around his wrist peeking through the edge. There was so much pain. He squirmed in discomfort and tried to look around for a nurse or button to call for one.

"Big Brother!" Oh, fuck. He cringed at the voice as Kanon appeared upside-down, standing over his head. His face was assaulted in kisses. "I was so scared! Choberiba, there was so much blood, and you were on the floor, and I didn't know what to do!"

"It hurts," he whined, and she stopped kissing him in alarm.

"What does? Your hand?"

He nodded. Kanon darted off where he couldn't see. "Let me get you something," the worry was heavy in her voice. A moment later she came back with a glass of water and fistful of pills. She hovered beside him with them. "It's just painkillers," she explained, and he opened his mouth for them without fighting. She dropped a few pills in at once, and held the cup close enough for him to wash them down with, her other hand on the back of his head to support him. He finished the glass and Kanon sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his forearm. "Choberiba... Your poor hand..." Leon said nothing, just stared at the picture of himself on the ceiling. It was fairly recent, his hair red and long, face pierced and a wide smile on his face. He was jealous.

"Is my hand okay?"

Kanon didn't say a word. He uselessly tried to lift his hand for a closer look, but gave up as soon as he felt resistance. The cold hand on his forearm added force to stop him from trying to move. "Fuck, it hurts so bad... Is it okay? Did you fix it?"

"I did my best," she said softly. "Would you really rather pull yourself apart than be with me?" He didn't want to fight this. The energy wasn't there for it. The battle was lost.

"I don't wanna do that."

"Pull yourself apart, or be with me?"

He didn't answer. Kanon let out a sigh and stood up, vanishing from his sight with the sound of footfalls on carpet. What kind of hospital had carpet? Come to think of it, he couldn't hear the typical beeps or hums of machines, no carts outside or people in the hall, no hushed voices of doctors and nurses.

"Kanon... Where am I?"

No reply. He strained to look around at the room. There was a heavy curtain just ahead of him, probably over a window, the wall was directly to his right with space to comfortably walk between. The wall to his left was farther, and he couldn't see much of it from this angle. There was an IV drip standing next to him, and he realized the end of it was in his left hand, buried under the bandages. Kanon returned from behind him and walked up on his left. She moved something out of her way, some kind of... Card table, maybe, from the sound and size he guessed it had to be. It sounded like a metal tray of cutlery was on top of it, but he couldn't say with certainty.

"You'll tear off parts until you get out of here, won't you?"

It was becoming a pattern to not answer each other. "I don't want to have to keep you on a stretcher like this." Oh. That's why he was so high up. "But I can't leave you alone or you'll hurt my beloved Big Brother again." She shook her head and sighed. "What am I to do with you?" The painkillers were taking effect, mostly soothing his mind instead of the pain in his hand. He still felt it, he just didn't mind it as much. It was such a nice feeling of calm. It felt so easy to think without all that noise.

"What to do with me..." He parroted the words without really understanding them. "What you do... About me." He squinted at the picture hanging over him. "Love me. That's what you do with me." Yes, that was the answer he thought she was looking for. He didn't know why, but he started laughing. "You tell me that every day, right? That's easy." She said nothing, just stared at him, looking worried. "I can't get out the door." Why was he laughing? He squirmed in the restraints. What was going on? He didn't want to be laughing. This wasn't funny. "I can't open the door, you might as well let me loose in here. I can't go anywh..." The laughs were making it hard to speak clearly. "I can't go anywhere!" Tears were starting to well up. "It doesn't matter what you do! It doesn't matter! I'm gonna be stuck here forever- stuck with Kanon, just like she always wanted me to!"

"Big Brother, are you-?"

"I'm gonna die with Kanon!"

"You're seriously acting weird!"

"Hah, I'm gonna... I'm gonna die here, right? That's right, isn't it?" He couldn't stop himself from laughing. What kind of drugs were those?

"Big Brother, calm down!" Kanon got to her feet and hovered over near his face, obviously unsure what to do.

"D'you love me?" He stifled the laughter as best he could, teeth clenched tight in an awkward smile, and looked to his cousin for her answer. She hesitated for too long. "You do, right? Say you love me. Kanon, say you love me."

"I love you, Big Brother. I love you so much."

"Aah," He dragged out a sigh. "I love you too. I _love_ you!" Kanon kept staring at him, looking almost afraid of him, while he kept repeating broken up laughs. "I can't get out! You can leave me untied and I can't open the door! It's _right there_ , and I can't open it, I'm a fish in a bowl! Kanon, Kanon, am I?"

"Are you what?"

"Am I gonna die here?" He bit his labret to stop himself from laughing. What was wrong with him? Kanon set a hand on his forehead.

"I think you should sleep this off..." She smoothed back his hair and looked at the IV drip, then did something he couldn't see.

"Kanon, hey, Kanon," She kept fiddling with something, and he squirmed to try to see it. "Kanon, come over here. Kanon?" After a moment she turned back to face him, eyes red and expression on the edge of terrified.

"You were hurting yourself..."

"But I won't do it anymore! I get it now, I get it! I'm just gonna stay here forever with Kanon. That's okay? Kanon, come over here. I'm... I'm kinda tired." Slowly, his laughing was starting to calm down, replaced with a wave of exhaustion. "Kanon," he fought to stay awake, wriggling in the restraints and staring at her. "I don't wanna sleep right now." She kept brushing back his hair, sinking her teeth into her lip and staring straight back without a word. "I don't wanna sleep," he repeated. "I don't think I'll wake up if I do. Don't make me sleep again." It was getting harder to fight it. "I don't... Wanna sleep..."

 

* * *

 

  
He was getting sick of these drugs. Literally, right now. Misery followed. Gingerale and soda crackers. He wasn't sure how much time passed in a groggy blur, but when clarity started to come back, he wasn't on the stretcher anymore. He was back on his mattress again, dazed, disoriented... But there was less pain than before. Had he healed up? His hand ached, but in a dull, sore kind of way, instead of the ripping agony he felt before. He distinctly felt his thumb move under the bandage and exhaled a heavy concern. He couldn't see the damage, but at least he knew she'd managed to reattach it. As lucidity faded in, he tried to move his hands, getting familiar with the feeling of them being stopped. Neither hand met resistance, though, and he held both in front of his face. One was covered in bandages, the other just carried fading bruises around his wrist. Strange. He stretched out his legs. No shackles on his ankles, either. He slowly sat up, pacing himself, with how his head felt like it was full of helium, and looked around. He was alone in what he'd come to call his room, the TV was on, near the ending of an animated movie he didn't remember the start of. A pill bottle and glass of orange juice was beside him. He vaguely remembered Kanon sitting beside him while he slept off the anesthetic... And being told he'd been on an anesthetic in the first place. He'd dreamt he'd said he loved her, hadn't he? ... Definitely. That had to have been a dream. He slowly got to his feet and found his legs wobblier than they were supposed to be. Hmm. He didn't remember getting changed into sleepwear, but these pyjama pants were comfortable, so he didn't mind. More noteworthy was the lack of chains. He slowly pushed the bedroom door open and peered around. He didn't see Kanon anywhere, so he timidly pushed it further.

Naturally, the front door was the first place he looked. But it was only a brief glance at the strip of tape before he turned his attention elsewhere. Namely, the kitchenette. He wandered over to it at a sleepy pace, opened the fridge and found a carton of orange juice. He opened it and glanced around for a glass, but gave up quickly and drank straight from it.

"You're up!"

He nearly had a heart attack. Kanon had been sitting at the table, idly holding one of her light novels, looking over at him in surprise. He coughed on orange juice and wiped his mouth with his bandaged hand.

"Jeez, don't startle me like that!"

"Sorry. I didn't think you'd be on your eet-fay this soon. Yababa! Big Brother is feeling better!" She closed her book and bounced to her feet, a twirl before catching him in a hug. He ignored her and drank more of the orange juice. Lucky he was right handed, because he kept his bandaged hand loose at his side. Any time he tried to flex his hand it felt weird and sore.

"Am I s'posed to be chained to the wall again?" He didn't even sound sarcastic, just disinterested, as if it was happening to someone else. "If it's okay, I really don't feel like running away right now anyway." He patted her shoulder with the bandage. "Maybe later." Kanon squeezed him tight.

"Do you want to see your hand again?"

"Hmm?"

"Your hand. You had me take off the bandage and let you see it, like, every day."

"I don't remember that."

"That's what you kept saying before, but you seemed pretty, uhh... _Floopy_."

"Floopy?"

"You know! _Silly_!" She stepped back and spun one of her fingers around her temple. "But you seem way better now!"

"Yeah, I think I feel better too. Lemme see it again. Last time." He held up the bandage, and Kanon gently took it in her hands. She unwound the gauze, a calm pace, but the more she unwound the more nervous he felt. Why was so much of his hand vanishing? When it was almost off, he could feel panic in his throat. Kanon peeled the last of it off and pulled it away, looking up at his face for his reaction. The blood drained from his face.

His thumb was gone. He turned his hand over, showing himself the palm, then the back, then the side. A long scar ran from his wrist, up his index finger, just a patch of uneven skin to mark where his thumb used to be. He stared, speechless, turning his hand over as if looking for where his thumb was hiding. "I..." He blinked and felt tears. All the things he lost were flashing in front of him- no more fumbling over a guitar, trying to learn the chords. No more holding a bat and swinging at a new record for his age class. No holding hands with Sayaka.

Who was he kidding? Sayaka wouldn't want to, anyway. She had Naegi now. Leon slowly slid down the wall, staring at what remained of his hand.

"I did the best I could," she gave a sympathetic voice. "I even got someone else to help, but the joint was all messed up. Choberiba... Why would you do that to yourself?"

"You wouldn't... You wouldn't let me go..."

Kanon sighed and plopped down beside him, making her skirt poof up around her legs.

"It was worth it, wasn't it? Because now, of course, you're outside playing baseball again, right?"

He slowly rotated his hand again in disbelief.

"It's... I could _feel_ it move..."

"That's what you kept telling me, too. Apparently it's pretty common. You didn't like looking at it, so I kept it covered for you, but there's no need to keep wearing that andage-bay if you don't want to." There was a moment of neither of them speaking, both just looking at his hand. After a while, Kanon wove her fingers into it and closed her eyes with a contented sigh. "You're still perfect. Do you know that?" Silence. "Do you remember what you said to me, after you woke up just after trying to operate on it?" He just gave a shaking breath. "I didn't think you would. You had a pretty weird reaction to the anesthetic, huh? Seriously scary." No, he remembered it. That picture of himself on the ceiling. Where was that? Her house? Who else would have a picture like that? Kanon squeezed his hand in hers and rested her head on his shoulder. Her thumb brushed along the scar where his should be, and he felt a sudden, sharp discomfort. He pulled his hand away and held it protectively to his chest.

"Don't do that," he looked at his hand again, keeping it close to his body. "It feels weird. It's like... It hurts. Don't do that." To test it, he brushed his fingers through where he felt like his thumb still was, and jerked away in discomfort again. It was so strange... Kanon rested her chin on his shoulder and looked up at him with bright eyes.

"Do you want to stay like this?"

"Like _this?_ " He waved his left hand in front of her indignantly. "Not really, no."

"No, I mean like _this_." She looped her hand around his wrist and waved his hand around. "No bracelets."

"... Yeah. That's better."

"I was scared you'd hurt yourself again... I thought about a necklace instead, but then I was afraid you'd try cutting _that_ loose too..." He absently rubbed over his neck.

"I don't wanna be chained up again."

Kanon pecked his cheek.

"We'll try for a little while. How's that?"

"That's good."

"I love you, Big Brother."

"I know."

The rest of the day was uneventful. He fed himself some toast, gingerale and crackers, all easy to digest while laying in bed with a movie and Kanon hugged into his side. His energy was still low, but he could keep his focus and was obviously recovering. Earlier than usual, he'd yawned and said he couldn't keep awake. Kanon had switched off the movie, gotten into her sleepwear, and by the time she'd returned he was already asleep.

 

* * *

 

He woke up, as he often did, with Kanon beside him. At some point in his sleep he'd started hugging her, and in his still-sleeping fog he'd hugged her closer and sleepily stayed where he was. The realization hit him suddenly, and he jerked back to let her go. Kanon stirred from the sudden move, and he abruptly rolled to his other side and pretended to still be asleep. After a few minutes, she'd gotten up with a yawn, glanced back at him and left his room. He ran his hands through his hair, with a vacancy on his left. That had been awkward.

When he'd gotten up a while later, Kanon wasn't around. It was strange to be able to walk around the entire area by himself. It was more curiousity than anything else, but he pulled back the curtain over the window.

As it turned out, there was a small patio. the only view was the side of a brick building, so he pulled on the glass door to step outside. He was dying for some fresh air. The door didn't budge. Locked, maybe? No... The lock was open. A few screws were holding the door in place. He left it shut without much protest, but left the curtain open for a little sunlight. The front door didn't budge, though he hadn't expected it to, but it was still worth a shot.

He returned to his room, found the portable game system Kanon had left for him, and brought it over by the window to kill some time. He laid on the floor and switched it on in the warm sunlight, pressed A to continue, and stopped at the menu screen. Down arrow. Nothing happened on the screen. He looked at his hand and set the game on the floor. He thought he'd be angrier about that, but as it was, he found it hard to care. For a while he just laid on the floor, before getting bored and digging up the hair gel Kanon had gotten him. He'd need a dye touch-up soon, he thought, and took longer than usual to figure out how to style his hair with one complete hand. Around lunch time, Kanon returned, to find him laying on the floor again. He looked over with disinterest.

"Hey, you're back."

Kanon's smile was wide and bright, and she hopped over to him to kiss his face in greeting. He didn't bother to move away. "What did you do with my rings?"

"Oh, the ones on your hand?"

"Yeah. Can I have 'em back?"

"Sure, I'll bring them next time." She laid on the floor beside him, on her side to face him. "Hey, Big Brother..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy?"

"I dunno. What do you mean?"

"You seem kind of... Sagepoyo. Do you want me to bring you something? A new game?"

"Can't play them," he waved his left hand.

"Do you miss something?"

"Uh... Baseball. That's kinda stupid, right?" He laughed at himself, half-hearted with an edge of sadness. "All that talk about how I was never gonna play it again. I guess that's no good. I can't go outside, huh?"

Kanon shook her head.

"Sorry, no. I can bring tapes of games for you to watch, if you like."

"I guess that could be alright. I never really watched it much before."

"What else do you miss?"

Leon thought for a moment. What did he miss more than anything? Sayaka? Mondo?

"Girls."

"Girls?"

"Girls."

"Like... You want... A _specific_ girl?"

"I dunno. I miss seein' girls around."

"You want..." She whispered, as if afraid of his answer. "... _Magazines?_ "

"Huh? Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I used to talk to them all the time, try to impress them, y'know, whatever." Kanon was quiet for a moment, but nodded.

"I see."

"Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad at you, Big Brother."

"Cool." There was a short quiet, but he didn't draw it out. "I don't want you to be mad at me." He pulled a sideways smile and messed her hair with one hand. "You're the only girl I've gotta impress anymore."

"You mean that?"

"I guess so. I thought Sayaka was the only girl I wanted to impress, but that's... Whatever. Plenty of fish."

"Plenty of fish."

"Well, _one_ fish. Hey, is someone feeding my fish?"

"Your fish?"

"Yeah. I had a fish. Did Sayaka move in with Naegi? Is she feeding my fish?"

"Your fish is fine. What did you name him?"

"I dunno, it's a fish, it doesn't matter. It just looked cool."

"He didn't have a name?"

"Nope. Is Sayaka happy?"

"You really need to stop dwelling on her."

"How come?"

"She doesn't love you like I do."

"No one loves me like _you_ do, Kanon. What's up with her? Is she doin' okay?"

"She's not important."

"She's important to me. It's almost her birthday, right?"

"A week from today."

"Will you give her something for me? You don't have to say it's from me. Make it anonymous. I dunno, just give her anything with any name on the box."

"Big Brother..."

"What?"

"Why do you keep talking about her? It's been so long. She cheated on you and left you here."

"I guess so. But the heart wants what the heart wants, huh?" He sighed. "I still love her. I feel like I shouldn't, but I do. Is that stupid?"

"Yes." There was ice in her voice, and Leon turned his head to see it in her eyes, as well. "That's _very_ stupid, Big Brother."

"Mm. But it's stupid to love me too, isn't it? When you know I won't love you back, no matter how long you keep me here?"

"... Sorry?"

"I won't. I can't. It's not because I don't want to, I just _can't._ Because..." He rested his hand on his chest, looking at the ceiling for the words he needed. "Sayaka has all of it. I love her more than anything. You know what I was thinking about when I did this?" He brushed his right index finger around the scar on his left. "Her. I wanted to get back to her so bad. It didn't matter that she cheated. It hurt, but... I'd still cut off the _rest_ of my hand for her, if I had to."

Kanon got to her feet. Leon idly turned his head to see where she'd gone, but she only stopped for a moment to pick up her handbag and bring it back over. It landed on the carpet beside him with a thump, Kanon falling to her knees after it, digging around to find something. Leon sat up and looked into the bag. It only took her a moment to pull up a few photos, pass them to him, and get to her feet and walk off. He squinted at the pictures. "What's this?" It just looked like a black smudge. "Some kinda charcoal drawing?" He turned it over, flipped to the other picture. The third was more or less the same. Each had 'eight weeks' scribbled on the bottom. "I dunno what I'm lookin' at."

"I'll let you figure it out, Big Brother. I'll come back for dinner." With that, she left him alone again, confused about what he was holding.

After a while, he'd just shrugged and left the pictures in a pile on the counter. He tried the handle of the front door again. Still locked. He killed some time with some personal grooming, a habit he'd missed, and sat on his mattress hugging a pillow to watch a movie. It was better, now that he had a little freedom, and didn't have to spend the whole time drugged. But boring.

At the end of the movie he stretched out his arms and legs, let the credits roll and wandered around the space a little more. Pointless, but he rummaged through the cabinets anyway. It was mostly food supplies. There were a few raw ingredients, and he idly munched on a strip of seaweed while he reorganized the cups in a pyramid. He found a bag of flour, wrote his name with his finger, and licked the end of his finger. Oh. Gross. He washed it out with more orange juice and laid on the floor again.

Kanon returned, like she promised, and he was a little more excited than he meant to be. He got to his feet to greet her, and took one of the grocery bags in her hands and peeked into it while helping her carry it to the kitchenette.

"What didja get me?" He saw a can of his favourite soda and reached in to take it out, held it in his right hand and pulled at the tab with his left index finger. It was awkward. He tried to change his grip, push the heel of his hand into the lid for leverage, bite the tab... Kanon took it from him and popped it open.

"Choberiba, that was supposed to be a surprise for after dinner." She passed it back to him and started putting away the rest of her groceries. Leon sat up on the edge of the counter to drink his pop and watch her do the work.

"How's your day? What did you do while you were gone?"

"Nothing ecial-spay. Oh, but I did get these," Kanon took a handful of metal from her pocket and held it out for him. Leon set down his drink and cupped his hands for it.

"Hey, my rings! Thanks!" He smiled and started putting them back on his fingers. With one left, his smile hesitated, and he shoved it in his pocket. "What're we gonna do today?"

Kanon puffed air over her face to push away her hair. She set a loaf of bread on the counter, beside the pile of pictures, and stopped to look at them. Leon couldn't see her face from this angle, but she was awfully still for a moment, then shoved the pictures into her bag and turned back to give him a smile.

"Whatever you like, Big Brother."

"Hey, what were those?" He nodded at her bag and tipped back the pop can.

"Do you really not know?"

"Nah. Did you draw them or something?"

"No. I can't believe you can't tell." Leon shrugged.

"Is it somethin' I should know?"

"I guess you don't have any reason to know." She lifted her hands to give an exaggerated shrug. "Just forget you saw them, okay? It'll only make you sad."

"It'll make me sad?"

"Forget!" Kanon waved her hands in front of him. "Forget!"

"Huh?"

"Forget!" She made a circle with her hands, like a kids' show character projecting a bad special effect beam at him.

"... What?"

"Forget beam!"

Leon slowly sipped from his pop can.

"'Kay. Can we have okonomiyaki today?"

"Anything Big Brother wants!" Kanon stood up on her tip-toes and patted the top of Leon's head, making him pull away and complain. "They say the way to a boy's heart is through his stomach, after all. And I'm not giving up on you that easy! You know what I think, Big Brother?" She whispered it, as if it was a secret, and hid her words behind the back of her hand to tell him. "I think you're scared to die alone."

"What's that got anything to do with it?" Her words made him uncomfortable. Was it a threat..?

"You really don't remember what you told me after having your hand sewn up?" Every word, but he shook his head anyway. "Well, I think you meant what you said. You just haven't realized it yet, maybe." She tapped the end of his nose with her finger, spun around in a childish giggle and started taking out ingredients. "You'll figure it out. I'm sure of it! You'll wake up and think, _agepoyo!"_ Leon said nothing. He wanted her to forget what he'd said. He hadn't actually meant any of that, it was just the drugs messing with his head.

... Wasn't it? He wasn't afraid to die alone. He wasn't going to die here. Just live here for a while. He ran a hand over his hair and let out a slow breath. When had he stopped trying to escape? Why wasn't he doing that now? He watched his cousin reading the back of a can of sauce for a moment. She must use expensive shampoo, to get her hair that shiny and soft. Expensive skin cream to keep it that smooth and clear. He shook his head to stop himself from staring. Today was no good. He was tired. An escape attempt wouldn't be any use when he was tired. Besides, he really _did_ want some okonomiyaki. Maybe tomorrow he'd try again, if the mood struck him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a slow chapter for plot but i felt like leon needed a little down-time after the last one haha  
> had to get a few details and a sense of routine in there so i figured a nice slow character-development kind of chapter was necessary, loads of important details in here if you know what to look for (but some of them are pretty blunt hah)
> 
> back to making him suffer next time :3c


	6. Chapter 6

A few more days had passed before he realized he had lost track of time again. He knew it had been a month, then a while to recover, and maybe around a week more of not being chained down. It must've been a long time to heal, because the wound was closed completely. He knew he healed quickly, but he was only human. He'd have to ask her about the date when she returned.

In the meantime, he'd switched on one of the recordings she'd brought him. Watching the most recent game first had proved to be a mistake. It was packed with replays from earlier in the season, and the teams themselves spoiled the winning teams from the earlier games. Even some of the scores.

It was late afternoon when Kanon returned, near the end of the game. Leon glanced over through the open bedroom door, greeting her with a smile. She was carrying a pot of yellow flowers.

"Hey, you're back! Wanna watch with me? It's the bottom of the ninth," he slid over to make space on the mattress and patted it to invite her over. "They're never gonna win." Kanon joined him in the room, and stopped to hold the flowers in front of the screen. He leaned around her to see the screen.

"What do you think?"

"It's nice."

Kanon pouted and shoved the flowers closer to his face. He gave up and looked at them properly. "Oh, it's that kind you like, the, uh... Your perfume has them. What's the name?"

"Ylang ylangs. You like them?"

"Yeah, they're pretty. I'm not really good with flowers, but I like those fine. They smell good." A sudden cheer caught his attention, and he leaned around her again to see what had happened. She set the flowers on top of the screen and stepped back with her hands on her hips.

"Is that a good spot?"

"Yeah, that's perfect." He'd missed the pitch, but he'd seen it on reply three times already. It didn't make him any less interested in watching the runner skid in slow-motion while lines were drawn over him to analyse everything. The game switched over to some men in suits discussing the game, the players, what it meant for the team and predictions for the next game. Kanon sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Did your favourite team win?"

"Nah, the other guys mopped the floor with 'em."

The screen switched over to commercials, and Leon didn't bother trying to fast forward. It only made the tapes end sooner and he ran out of things to do faster. Marukome advertised a new flavour of soup. It looked pretty good, and, according to the ad, it was only available for a limited time. Maybe Kanon could pick some up for him later. But now that he had a break, he remembered what he'd meant to ask her about. "Hey, Kanon, how long have I been here?"

"A while, I think."

"Yeah, but I dunno how long my hand was healing. Had to be at least a week, right?"

"Why does the date matter so much to you?"

"I dunno. Just does." He'd already missed Sayaka's birthday, their anniversary, Kanon's birthday... What was the next special day he'd miss? Had he missed it already?

"It was healing for more than a week. You didn't react well to the anaesthetic... I think you might have an allergy or something."

"It's bad if it mixes with other things, right?"

"Yeah. It could've been that, I suppose, but your doctor knew about what you had been taking. Your entire medical history, right up to the hour." That's right, she'd mentioned having gotten someone else to help her. They knew he'd been drugged, too?

"Who was my doctor?"

"Very good."

"Not what I asked, Kanon. Was it just our family doctor?"

"No. Is this really so important?"

"Yeah, I wanna know. Have I met them?"

"No, not personally. I don't think so, anyway. I'm sure I'd know if you had. After all, I'm your biggest fan." Yeah. His biggest fan. Every baseball game he'd ever played, even in little league or just for fun with some of the kids after school, she'd been there to watch and cheer him on. This conversation was getting him nowhere. A commercial for the DvD release of a new movie started up. He'd gone to that in theatres with Sayaka, just a few weeks ago.

"Can you bring me that one when it's out? I really wanna see it." The advertisement ended, replaced with evening news. The reporter gave a typical greeting, her name, the channel she worked at. "I think that's prolly the end of this tape, though. I mean, the game's over, anyway. We can put somethin' else-..."

"... The search continues for Kuwata Leon, who went missing more than six weeks ago..." An image of his parents standing side-by-side behind some podium. His mother started to speak and his heart skipped. Kanon stood up abruptly and started towards the screen, but Leon reached out to stop her. "Kanon, what's this?" She pulled away from his hand, and easily slipped out of his fingers. He snatched her again in his right hand, for a better grip.

"... Any information regarding the location of Kuwata Leon..."

"Choberiba, Big Brother, let go!" She scratched at his hand to get free, and he had to stand and hold her back with both arms on her. It was taking more of his strength than he'd like, but he kept his eyes on the screen regardless.

"Quiet, I can't hear," he kept her restrained, but she didn't give up fighting to get to the screen. She grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled on it, making him cringe and stifle a noise, but enduring and forcing her forearm down. A few red hairs went with it.

"Big Brother!"

"... If he's listening, we want him to know it's not his fault. We don't blame him, and..." His mother choked up, and his father held her and took over reading from the teleprompter.

"And we want you to come home safe. We all miss you. You hear that, Kiddo? No one blames you. You can come home..."

"Choberiba!" Her voice was an annoyed whine, but he ignored it and strained to hear every word. A photo of him took over the screen, beside a list of points. His height, weight, hair and eye colour. He knew that photo. It was taken a few weeks before Kanon had taken him. He had been out with Sayaka, riding a ferris wheel when it had gotten locked midway through. They weren't high up enough for a good view, nor low down enough to get taken down with a ladder. The first hour or so they'd spent talking and taking pictures. The one on the screen had been cropped, but a piece of blue hair at the edge of the frame remained as proof she'd had her head rested on his shoulder. It all felt so familiar, so recent... The scent of her shampoo, taste of her lip gloss, tone of her voice when she'd told him to keep his hands to himself. Suddenly, it could've happened an hour ago.

"We just want to know you're alright. If anyone has any information-" It was too difficult to understand around Kanon's nonsense yelling. She was just making noise so he'd miss it, it wasn't even proper words.

"Kanon, knock it off! I just wanna hear!" She didn't pipe down, so he covered her mouth with his hand. It muffled her, a little, and she licked his hand to make him let go. He didn't move.

Until teeth sunk into his fingers. "Ow- fuck! Kanon, what the hell?! Just let me hear!" Leon roughly shoved Kanon away, knocking her to the floor. His parents weren't speaking anymore, instead replaced with the generic voice of a reporter.

"Big Brother, no!"

"... Last seen at 7PM on the fifth..."

What? That couldn't be right. He'd met with Kanon in the early afternoon, and had been with Sayaka before that.

"... With his cousin, Nakajima Kanon..."

The image swapped over to a security-camera image of him with Kanon. It looked like they were in a department store, but... He had no memory of that. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, hiding most of his face, and obscuring more of it with his popped collar. He squinted at the image. When had that been taken..?

"... Any information regarding the location of Kuwata Leon..."

A phone number at the bottom of the screen lit up. The voice-over ran through his description again.

"... 175 cm, with dyed red hair and blue eyes..."

Kanon had started pulling at him, trying to force him away so she could switch it off again. He kept one arm extended to keep her at bay.

"... He was last seen with a goatee and piercings on his lip, ear, and tongue..."

It was difficult to hear over Kanon's complaining and struggling. He'd set the volume low when he'd been watching the tape earlier, and now he regretted it.

"Idol sensation Maizono Sayak-"

The screen cut to blue. Kanon had gotten to the player and forced out his tape. That recording had to be at least three weeks old, just judging by how many other games had happened after. Three weeks or more. What had happened since? What didn't they blame him for? Had he done something wrong? What was that picture of him with Kanon? Kanon tore off with the tape, into another room. He shook the surprise off his face and ran after her.

"Kanon, don't break that!"

She was holding it up like a bat, standing beside the kitchen counter and ready to swing it down. Leon held up his left hand in a gesture for her to stop, and took a couple slow steps forward.

"Choberiba! You weren't supposed to see that!"

"Why not? It was nothing, honest, I just wanna see, that's all!"

"You're going to try to leave again, aren't you?"

"No, I promise! Just put it down!"

Tears were welling up in her eyes.

"Don't come closer!" He froze.

"Okay, I won't. Just don't break that. Please, don't break it. I just wanna see them again. Just one time. I miss them, just one look."

It felt like an hour passed in a minute. What had any of that been about? What had he missed under her yelling? He kept his left hand up in a gesture for her to stop, hoping the sight of his disfigured hand would stir up enough pity to stop her.

"... I'm sorry, Big Brother!"

"Kanon, _no!_ " He bolted forward to stop her. She slammed it down on the counter, and it cracked in half with a loud bang. He'd barely taken two steps closer. For a while he stared at the cracked pieces. The silence was deafening. It dragged over a full minute, and he slowly let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. It had been seconds away from cutting to images of Sayaka. Back to his parents, maybe. More information about their search or words they wanted him to hear. All of it was gone. "... Are they still looking for me?" He kept his head down, blurring vision on the broken pieces. Kanon slowly walked over to him and slid a rough hand on his shoulder.

"No."

"Y-... you're lying. They're looking for me." He took a rough breath and snapped his stare up at her face, wearing a heavy glare. All that forgotten hatred had bubbled back up at the surface, and he smacked her hand off of him. "They're looking for me! _You_ were the last person they saw me with, _you're_ who they're gonna ask!"

"No, Big Brother! They already asked me everything, they only looked for you for a couple days! No one loves you like me! No one else would look for you as long as I wo-"

Her voice was cut off by a hard slap in her face, followed by a sharp gasp of surprise. Leon didn't stop there, instead grabbing a fistful of the front of her shirt to speak right in her face.

"You don't give a _shit_ about me! You want me to stay _here_ forever, you want me to be _miserable!_ You don't care about me! Stop saying you do, you _stupid bitch!_ "

Kanon didn't say a word, just stared back at him with pain in her eyes, hands on top of his, half-flinched in anticipation of being hit again. He glared for a moment, then roughly shoved her away and stormed over to the door. He tried the handle, but it didn't budge. Like always. "Open this!" He snapped, and pointed at it. "Open the fucking door and let me go!" Her glare dripped with venom.

"No."

"Open it! I know you can! What, is it your phone? It's your phone, isn't it?" He yanked her purse off the counter and dumped it's contents on the floor. Countless cosmetics. A wallet. Diary. The photos from earlier. Her phone was no where in sight. "Where's your phone? Open the door!"

"No."

"Let me out!"

"No."

"Shut up! Open the door right now!" He lashed forwards and picked up a familiar kitchen knife. Without breaking stride, he held it against Kanon's neck, but she didn't even blink.

"Or what?"

"What do you mean, _'or what'?_ "

"If I don't open it, what will you do? Use that knife on me? Will you hurt me? Kill me? Then you'll never get it open."

"I'll find your phone and open it myself!" He pushed the edge against her, and her skin curved around it, dangerously close to cutting into her.

"It's a password. You'll never guess how many characters it is, let alone what they are, because it was randomized. You can't leave without me." She kept her voice level and low. Smart. Too much movement would only shove herself into the knife.

"Open it."

_"Or what?"_

He turned the knife around and tapped the tip of it over his heart. Kanon's hard expression melted in surprise. "Big Brother-"

"I'm not scared to die alone." He stepped back from her, out of arm's reach if she tried to stop him. When she moved closer, he held the handle in both hands, getting ready to use all his force, not looking away from her for an instant. He turned it so it could slip between his ribs, instead of meeting bone and having to twist later. He'd learned from his hand. " _You're_ the one that's scared of that." Hopefully she couldn't tell he was bluffing. But then again... He wasn't entirely sure of that himself. What was left for him? A new ex-girlfriend? What was on the horizon? Not a baseball career. No one wanted a batter that couldn't hold the bat properly. Would anyone want a poster of a rockstar with nine fingers? He was terrible at singing and now any hopes of being good with a guitar were gone. "Gimme a reason not to. One reason."

"You'll always have _me_ , Big Brother." He deepened his glare and fixed his grip on the knife.

"A reason _not_ to do it." Kanon hesitated, looking through his eyes for anything to betray his intentions. All she found was a cold glare.

"What about _those?_ " She pointed down at his feet. He narrowed his eyes at her, but after a pause, looked to where she was pointing. The images from before had spilled out of her bag, a little crumpled, but still in alright condition. He didn't budge the knife.

"What about them?"

"It's yours."

For a moment, he said nothing. Some part of him knew what those were pictures of. His stare didn't break, but his vision started to blur. After a moment his hands started to shake.

" _Mine?_ " His voice quivered. "And Sayaka?" Kanon didn't answer. "It's _mine?_ " On that, his voice broke. The knife fell out of his hand and he knelt down to pick up the pictures. Eight weeks. The news report had said he was missing six weeks, and that recording was at least three weeks old. But he didn't know how old these pictures were, either. It had to be... Two weeks. Maybe more. Two weeks ago, she'd gotten her first ultrasound without him. He covered his mouth in his hand and sat on the floor, staring at them. "I'm gonna be a dad?"

 

 

Kanon knelt down beside him, one hand on his shoulders. It wasn't in him to shove her away right now. He felt numb, staring at the photos in shock. A smile twitched onto his face.

"I'm... I'm gonna be a dad. I never even _thought_ about havin' kids." He flipped the pictures around, trying to make sense of the greyish blobs. "... Shit... How big is this?"

"About the size of a kidney bean, in those pictures. A little bigger."

"Shit... He's tiny."

"It might be a girl."

"It is?"

"It's not far enough along yet. But it might be. Would you prefer one?"

"I... I dunno. A boy. I want a boy. Then I can teach him guy stuff, and... No worries about dating guys like me."

"You want to know what it is?"

" _You_ know?" He looked up from the pictures, at his cousin with wide eyes. Hadn't she just said it was too eerly to tell? Were these pictures old?

"Do you want to know?"

"Yeah, tell me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know yet. But if you want to find out," she took the knife out of his reach, and he let her set it back on the counter. "You can't hurt yourself, or me, at all. You have to stay here and be good." He stared at the smudge. It was so small, and he felt like he was even smaller. A kidney bean...

"I wanna see her," his voice was soft. "I wanna... I wanna help her paint the room and... I wanna... Pick out a crib... Get a shirt that says _'My Dad Rocks'_ for it, and... I just _really_ gotta see her." He lowered the pictures to look at Kanon. "I _have_ to. I _have_ to see her. You _gotta_ let me see her."

"Now... You're going to try to escape again." He didn't answer. "If you try again, I won't bring you any more pictures or tell you any updates." She paused to let him speak up, but he didn't take the chance. "But... If you stay here with me, I'll tell you everything. I'll bring videos and pictures and make more phone calls like before so you can hear her voice. You want that, don't you?" Still no reply. "Do you think it's worth the risk?" He felt like she'd just deflated him. Was it? It was too much of a gamble, too much on the line. When she opened the door again, just in front of him, he stayed planted. She turned back, playfully stuck out her tongue, halfway out the door. "I'll see you again in a few hours. Be good until then, okay?" He swallowed the lump in his throat and watched the door close behind her, waited until he heard the lock click shut, and slowly peeled his stare off the door and to the photos still in his hand.

Was it really just the size of a kidney bean..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was kinda short... i wanted to end it off there and didn't feel like more dialogue was necessary or actions required, so it just worked out a little short this time. last one was longer than usual so i guess that balances it out? :0  
> lemme know what you guys think! i know everybody could tell what they were pictures of haha but there's more stuff to try to piece together! i think at this point there's enough information to figure it out... hmm! the big reveal is getting close, huh?
> 
> i remember learning in school about a process in which you could take any human cell and use it to fertilize a female's egg. it could even just be a skin cell from a dude's arm. pretty interesting stuff, huh? i love biology :3c


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ready for the thrilling conclusion??? :3c

The news clip kept playing over and over in Leon's mind. He wished he could've heard better, that his memory was flawless, that he'd seen the rest of it and had the tape to replay as many times as he wanted. So many things could've been better. He remembered his parents repeating that they didn't blame him, but he had no idea why they _would_ , in the first place. What was that picture of him with Kanon? It had to be a look-alike. That's why his face was mostly covered. Kanon had to have paid some guy that looked like him just to throw suspicion away from herself. It was strange... But not impossible. She could find someone if she looked hard enough.

Leon let out a sigh and looked over at the photos again. It could be fake. It could be something she found online and printed off to screw with him and make him stop trying to leave. Was she a good liar? He didn't remember her being particularly one way or the other about it, but she always seemed to struggle with lying to _him_ , specifically. There was no hesitation when he ate the last cookie and blamed it on her- she dove and took the blame in a heartbeat. Asking if she followed him and seeing her squirm to say no, asking again and hearing her wail and beg him not to hate her for it. Had she figured out how to lie to him, or was she always a good little actress?

So many things didn't add up. Who had she gotten to medicate him and fix his hand? This mysterious surgeon that knew his entire medical history, but still gave him a dose with a crippling effect that made him tell Kanon he loved her?

Then there was the phone call. Kanon had said she was taking good care of Leon, and Sayaka had hesitated before saying that was good. She lived with Naegi now, or, at least, she had to have stayed the night when Kanon had called. Kanon said they were a couple now, that they had been seeing each other behind his back before he'd been captured. Could he believe her?

Maybe he should stop questioning these things. Maybe he should just sit down and let Kanon have what she wanted from him. Maybe that was what was best. Maybe he didn't want pictures of Sayaka's progress, if he couldn't ever see her again anyway. Five years of highschool together, starting with one year of trying to impress and convince her that he was what she needed, ending with one year of living together after graduation. Was this it? One year after graduating, close the book, that's it, the end? Didn't he get more?

He stayed laying on the floor, facing the window and watching the light fading away. The only view was the wall of the building opposite, and the window had been bolted closed so he couldn't stick his head out for a better look. It had been getting dim lately. Rainy, cloudy weather, he assumed, but couldn't tell for certain. Sunset came earlier than it used to. It must've been between eight and ten weeks that he'd been here. At least two months, but not three, yet. Were his parents still looking? Was Sayaka? He rolled onto his front and groaned into the carpet. All there was to do in the day was sit alone and dread the rest of his life, hate himself for being happy when Kanon got back, and blankly stare at another movie he'd watched a hundred times over. She didn't bring him tapes of baseball games anymore. He guessed the news report had been too big of a risk, because he'd woken up feeling sick, to find all of the recordings were gone and she never returned them.

Days became weeks, and every time she opened the door, he stayed where he was until it was closed again. She'd been good to her word, as it turned out, and came back with a smile as she pulled some more pictures from her bag. He darted off the couch for a look.

"How big is it now?"

"About the size of an ime-lay."

"A lime..." He flipped over the pictures, imagining being in the room with Sayaka to hold her hand. No wonder she'd ran to Naegi, she couldn't do something like that by herself. "It actually looks like a baby now, huh?"

"Mhmm."

Leon flipped to another picture.

"Holy shit. I guess he's a boy, huh?"

"Big Brother... That's the leg."

"Oh. When can you find out?"

"I think that's around eighteen weeks."

"So long!"

"I had a really long at-chay with her today," Kanon watched him look over the pictures, happy to see him smile again.

"With Sayaka?"

"The doctor that took these! She told me she can't wait for the next month or so to pass. Apparently this is, like, a really high-risk time, y'know? Barely anyone knows about this, just in case!"

"She told you?"

"My friend told me."

"The surgeon one that fixed my hand?"

"What made you think of that again?"

"I dunno."

"It was just a mutual friend. Don't worry so much! You'll get grey hairs and bad skin!"

"You'll keep me lookin' young though, huh?" He flipped to the last picture and tilted his head. "Still can't believe this. We're so fresh out of highschool, y'know?"

"Hope's Peak has five years, you're not a teenager!"

"Yeah, I know, I know. You make it sound like I'm some old man."

"Would you go back to that?"

"What, school?"

"Yeah. Would you go back and relive your highschool life?"

He thought about it for a moment. If he did things differently, maybe he could avoid being kidnapped. That would be nice.

"Yeah, I think I would. It was a pretty nice school."

"I think so too."

Too bad she'd never been accepted there herself. She was always so proud of following him to every school he went to, it had been constant frustration when he'd casually mentioned she should hurry up and get a talent. He hadn't actually meant it, but, like everything, she'd taken him too seriously. It was like saying that girl in a magazine was cute, like making a deal that she couldn't speak to him until she could pitch as fast as him. Obviously he hadn't meant any of that.

* * *

 

"There's another ultrasound tomorrow," Kanon had explained, while putting on her shoes. "So I'll bring more pictures as soon as I can." Leon had nodded and waited, something he'd gotten good at. The next time she returned, he got up to greet her with a smile and eagerness.

"Did you get the pictures?"

Kanon shook her head, and avoided looking right at him. He tilted his head and squinted at her. "What's wrong?" She bit her lip and his blood chilled. "What happened?" When she looked up at him, her eyes were red. "No, c'mon, don't say... No."

"I'm really sorry, Big Brother."

"No," he shook his head, refusing to hear the shake in his voice. "No, no! Kanon! What happened? What went wrong?"

"It wasn't anyone's fault, this kind of thing happens a lot in the first-"

"No! You can't give me that and just take it from me! Kanon, you gotta let me see her!"

"I can't. I want to, I really do, but I can't!"

"Yes you can! Just let me out, I'll find her myself! All you have to do is open the door!"

"Big Brother... It hurts to see you so upset..."

He couldn't just stand here. Anger burned off the sadness and he tightened his fists. His blood felt hot in his veins, and everything in his chest hurt. He tried for the millionth time to open the door, already knowing it wouldn't budge when he did.

"It's not fair! That's all I had!" He slammed his fist against the door. "That was the only thing! Just that!" His voice broke over rough sobs. He kept hitting the door and yanking on the handle. At this point, he didn't even care if it opened. Any other words were lost in his throat. Pain choked them out. That was it. Sayaka had cheated on him, no one was looking for him anymore, he couldn't operate a videogame or play baseball, but he could live with it, if he'd still come home as someone's hero. Now... Was he even wanted back? He'd just be a painful memory to the girl he loved. The girl that had moved on a long time ago.

"I'm really sorry," he barely heard her over his own screaming and attacking the door. It wasn't fair. Nothing about this was fair.

 

* * *

 

It took him hours to calm down. He returned to laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling with red eyes and a tightness in his throat that wouldn't loosen. Kanon had made herself at home laying beside him, cuddled into his side and using his chest as a pillow. It just wasn't in him to fight with her right now. This is what she wanted, wasn't it? She wanted him thoroughly broken, to the point of being docile enough to let her do anything to him. Right now, he'd let her. He just wanted to feel good again.

"Do you wish I'd never told you?"

He opened his mouth to answer, shook his head without blinking away from the spot in the ceiling he'd been watching.

"I would've killed myself if you hadn't."

"Will you do that now?"

"I don't know."

Kanon hugged him tighter.

"What if you could forget?"

"I'd do that."

"If you forgot about Sayaka altogether?"

"I don't wanna feel like this." There was a quiet, for a while. "Will you sedate me again?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah."

Kanon squirmed and gripped his shirt in her hand.

"I don't want Big Brother to be so miserable he wants to spend his life drugged."

"Me neither."

"What if I let you go?"

"Does it matter anymore?"

Kanon swallowed thickly, then got to her feet and held a hand out to help him up.

"Come with me, Big Brother."

Fighting wasn't in him, anymore. He took her hand and pulled himself upright, and when she didn't let go, he didn't fight it. She led him over towards the door. It felt like it was happening to someone else. Kanon tapped her phone a few times, and he vacantly watched her enter 3-9-0-9 into her keypad. The lock clicked and she opened the door. His feet turned to lead, out of habit, waiting for her to leave him again, alone with his misery. But she didn't let go, she pulled him by the hand and took him out into the hallway. He felt his heartrate speed up, but nothing else.

The hallway was almost disappointing. It was plain, no artwork or windows, just a few lights on the ceiling leading in either direction. Kanon closed the door behind them and walked him off to the left.

"Kanon... Where are we going?" They stopped at an elevator, where she hit the down arrow and waited impatiently.

"I didn't like having to drug you all the time. I hated it! It was the worst! You were all sluggish and unhappy, and now you're not drugged, but you're just the same! I tried to bring you something to make you happy, and she ruined that, too!"

"It wasn't Sayaka's fault..."

Kanon didn't answer, just angrily hit the button again. The elevator arrived, and she took him into it and hit the button for the main floor.

"I was supposed to stay with you and you'd be safe, but you just couldn't... I can't _force_ you to love me! Choberiba, I thought I could, but I can't! It could've been so easy to keep you forever, but I don't want you if you're not _you!"_

"What're you talkin' about? You kept me for, uh... _Three months,_ or somethin'. You don't care if I'm miserable."

"Of course I do! Do you know how many times I had to make you forget how unhappy you were?"

"Huh?"

"You got out, like, six million times! You kept hitting me and hurting yourself, and no matter how many times I had to stitch you up, you'd just try again later!"

"Kanon... How long have I been..?"

"A year! A year today! You kept getting out and fighting with me, I had no choice but to keep taking your memory and putting you back, and I can't do it anymore! Choberiba, I'm just going to wind up doing it again, you know?"

"My memory?"

"Yes, your memory! I keep trying to take as little away as I can, but you kept figuring things out and escaping!" Her voice seemed strained and exhausted. "I had to get better locks, install an electric one with a code, but you _still_ kept getting out, so I had my friend weld a shackle into the wall..."

"Your friend? The surgeon?"

"No, he's not the same person, he's good with metal and stuff."

"A metalworker?"

"A mechanic, I think. He helped me with the bigger shackle too, when you got out of that one."

"You got it backwards, I was in the one with both my hands and _then_ the other one..."

"Yeah? What do you remember between that?"

"Uhh..." That was the heavy type of drug. It made him feel dizzy and pass out, then wake up feeling groggy, disoriented and sick. "It was your drugs."

"No, I only have one type of drug, and all it does is make you relax. You never fall asleep from it. When you wanted a shower I thought for sure you were going to get out again, and then I'd have to make you forget again... But you were good... So I put you back in the single shackle, because... Because I hated keeping you in that..."

"Are you serious?" He pulled his hand out of hers, giving her a look of outrage. "This is science fiction bullshit! If it's been a year, how come Sayaka's baby was only two months?"

"It wasn't _Sayaka's,_ " Kanon whined. The elevator doors opened.

"You said it was _mine!_ I didn't cheat on her, I know that for certain! Even if I did, I was chained up the whole time with no one but _you_ around t-... No, Kanon, _no way!_ That's _impossible!_   We're _cousins!"_ Kanon took a brisk pace as she walked out of the elevator, and Leon followed after her.

"I didn't want to make you forget that... But you ran out as soon as I fell asleep! I took as little of your memory as I could, and..." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "And you still didn't remember! As soon as you saw the pictures, you just asked me what they were!"

"... You're serious?"

"Super serious! Then you just assumed they were with _her,_ and you seemed so happy, finally you were happy..."

"That was..?" He felt sick. Dull memories of saying he'd do anything to get out. Anything. Being willing to kiss her to build her trust. Sickening memories of thinking she was pretty, of missing having her there when she left...

"Yes, Big Brother, it _was!"_ Kanon shoved her hand into her pocket and took out a key. She unlocked another apartment, and he followed her inside. It was the same layout as the one he'd been in before, with different furniture and decorations, and on the roof of the bedroom was a large poster of himself fastened to the ceiling. Medical equipment took over a large portion of the room, on trays and shelves, mostly things he didn't recognize.

"Wait, this is where-"

"Your hand, I know. That happened months ago and you talk about it all the time. I made you keep that one so you wouldn't try breaking out again! It worked for a while, too... Sagepoyo, Big Brother, you really can't remember anything at all? Not even when I explain it like this?" She whined and went to the kitchenette, opened a drawer and rummaged through. He looked at his hand in confusion. The scar _did_ look older than just a few weeks, but... that was impossible.

All the noise had caught the attention of someone else in the apartment, a girl with long purple hair that Leon didn't remember. She must be around his age, maybe a couple years older. Kanon glanced over, but didn't pay much attention to her. "There's your stupid nurse." She found what she'd been looking for, some sort of syringe, and tested the end. Leon backed up.

"Hey, I thought you were gonna let me go!"

"Choberiba... I just have to make you forget again! Maybe... Maybe all the way to the start? Ah, but how do I explain your hand? You'll think _I_ did that!"

"I-I think I c-could put it back," the other girl chimed in with a timid voice.

"Put it back? What're you talkin' about? That happened weeks... Months ago? Shit, it's dead and gone by now! You're gonna say you've kept it alive all this time?"

"For someone to be able to preserve a living body part that long... Yababa, she'd have to be _Super Highschool Level Nurse!"_ The other girl said nothing. Kanon sighed and turned the syringe over. "Okay Big Brother, we're gonna start over. You won't remember anything at all! Just like you want! But... Maybe this time, we'll have to get him chained up better?"

"What're you talkin' about?!"

"I don't want him to be drugged the _whole_ time. That was a good idea, but he's so sad like that! It breaks your heart, right?" Kanon wasn't even talking to him anymore. As if he was just a dog at a vet's office. Kanon held the syringe closer to him, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her from bringing it any closer. "Big Brother, would you stop fighting me for once?! Just once! _One_ time where you don't always try to escape and fight me!"

"No! I'm going back to Sayaka, back to my fish, and I'm never speaking to you again, you crazy _fuck!_ Get away from me!" He twisted her arm as roughly as he could, hoping to break it.

"Leon is fine!"

"What?"

"I named your fish Leon! I told you that a hundred times! You didn't name it, so I named it after you so Sayaka would still have... How can you still not remember?"

"The... The report said I was gone _six weeks!_ "

"Yeah, since you were _last seen,_ stupid! Or, I guess, since an _imposter_ of you was last seen... I'm friends with a really good one! He's, like, _Super Highschool Level!_ Choberiba... You don't think I'll have to give Big Brother up now, do you? She kept telling me if he got out again that she'd take him away..."

"Give me up?"

"I'm not gonna! Nothing will make me give up my Big Brother! She can have all his classmates for her plan, but not Big Brother! I'd die!" Kanon hugged herself and whined. Leon backed up towards the door. This was crazy. None of it could possibly be true. "He was, like, _perfect_ bait to get the rest of them out of the woodwork, so she can leave _him_ alone!"

"Are you still talkin' about Sayaka?"

"Big Brother, Big Brother! Chopping up your memory is so miserable! I've told you this a hundred times!"

"The hell are you talkin' about?"

"You can't remember _her,_ either? You went to school with her! You're making me want to lose _my_ memory too... I'm not explaining more, this is edundant-ray!"

"Fine, I'm not _askin'_ you to!" He shoved the door open and darted out, slamming it just in time to catch Kanon in the face. Perfect. This was crazy. Her entire story was crazy. He ran towards the front door, stopped in front of the glass doors for a moment. The view outside wasn't at all what he expected. It looked like a riot had just happened. He heard someone behind him, and violently yanked the door open. He just had to get away. Get to Sayaka. Get anywhere but here.

He sprinted through unfamiliar streets. Maybe she'd been right, he felt like his stamina was worse than it should've been. But... A year? After running until he thought his lungs would collapse, he saw a street sign. Finally, one that wasn't broken to the point of being unreadable. And he didn't see anyone behind him. Maybe he'd outrun her and lost her. Wait... Either these were common street names, or he knew this corner. He looked around a little more carefully. Time had passed and the buildings were run-down and broken, but it was definitely the strip mall between his and Kanon's house. All this time, he'd been so close to home. He oriented himself and kept a cautious, fast walk towards his own home. Sayaka had to be there.

There was no one in the streets. It was eerie, but he made it back to his old house within minutes. The sight of it gave him chills. The windows were smashed, some tape was drawn over them with no real purpose, and there were stains of questionable origin on the walls. Some of the shingles were peeled back. He darted up to the door, finding it ajar, and gave it a push.

"Sayaka?"

Silence. He carefully stepped inside, finding the place in shambles. Broken glass covered the ground, the painting on the wall was torn as if by three claws, even the hardwood under his shoes was scratched and stained. The colour of some of the stains turned his stomach. "Sayaka?" He called again, louder, and climbed the stairs towards their bedroom. Just outside of it, he heard a soft, muffled cry, and pressed his back to the wall to avoid being seen. Was that Kanon? He edged closer to the door and slowly pushed it open, catching a hint of long, blue hair, and instantly relaxing and rushing inside.

"L-Leon?" She rubbed her eyes, and he held her as tightly as he could.

"Sayaka... Jesus, you have no idea how badly I missed you!" He loosened his hug to kiss her. She stayed rigid in his arms. "Sayaka, Babe, what's wrong? It's me, I'm okay!"

"I- I... I agreed to forget everything..." Suddenly, she was latched onto him, squeezing him in her arms. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again!"

"What do you mean, you agreed to forget? Who?"

"If we forget the past six years, we can go back to Hope's Peak as if it's our first day. A whole fresh start. We can forget all of this! All of the raids and riots and terrible horrible things! Leon, Leon I don't want to forget _you!_ Not anymore!" Her hold on him was frantic, as if she was afraid he'd disappear if she didn't hold him tight enough. He felt the same way.

"You _won't_ forget me. 'Cause... 'Cause I'm not just in your _head,_ right?" He held her as tightly as he could. A full year of forgetting, and every day he woke up thinking about her. It wasn't a coincidence, or how his memory was lined up. He was sure of it. It was more than that. "You're not just in my memory, you're in my _everything._ I'm _never_ going to forget you. I _can't_ forget you, because I _love_ you, Sayaka. I love you so, so much!"

"Leon... I don't want to forget you, but... I don't want to remember any of the rest of this."

"Me too." Her hair smelled exactly as he remembered it. When he closed his eyes, he was back on the ferris wheel with her, taking pictures and laughing at each other's stupid jokes.

"God, where _were_ you?! I was so scared! After you went missing, we looked everywhere! All those riots, people dying in the streets, I thought you were dead! They said you _killed_ those people!"

"Me? Killed who?"

"I don't think you'd even _met_ them before! B-but their bodies... God, Leon!" She whimpered into him. "I don't want to remember!"

_What had she seen..?_

"Big Brother..."

Leon tensed, but didn't turn around. He felt Sayaka gasp and knew she'd seen Kanon behind him. "Big Brother, did you mean what you said before? You want to forget, too?" He said nothing. Had he really done any of that? "B-because... She's not letting me keep you anymore, so I'm going to forget too. I don't want to remember making you so miserable. I-it'll be okay," he could tell she was crying, but any pity he had for her was replaced with hate. She'd really gone that far? She'd framed him for murder? He let out a slow breath to calm himself, then stepped back to look at Sayaka.

"I love you," he said it gently, into a kiss. "I'll never stop loving you, even if I can't remember you. People like us... We'll find each other again, okay? I know you'll see a list of names and know mine is special. I'll stand out, okay? Just pick me." He made himself give her a shakey smile. "I'll get you out of any mess, just pick me. Promise you'll pick me every time."

Tears ran down her cheeks, and she squeezed her eyes shut to nod.

"I'll pick you, no matter what. I know it'll be you."

He hugged her again, desperate not to forget this feeling.

"Then we'll be okay."

 

* * *

 

His first day at Hope's Peak Academy, and he'd felt dizzy and fallen asleep in a classroom already. Ah, well. He stretched out his arms, smirking to himself at his set of silver rings. He'd just gotten them, brand new, complete with two thumb rings that really finished the look. It didn't take too long to find his new classmates down the hall.

"Maizono Sayaka?! _The_ Maizono Sayaka?! H-hey! You're my favourite, I've got a poster of you in my room!" This was so cool. She was so famous, and even prettier in person. He yanked a pad of paper off the nerd in the white uniform and autographed it for her. "My name's Kuwata Leon! L-E-O-N, Leon! That's pretty cool, right?" He held it up for her, and her smile made his heart skip. Sure, it was a little weird that the windows were all blocked up, but if that's the kind of smile keeping him company, he knew he'd be alright in here.

What's the worst that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so did you figure it out??? that kanon mysteriously could weld and do all these other things like whoa she totally was in cahoots with the shsl despair right and maybe a certain someone was letting her keep leon 'safe' until her mutual killing game was ready 
> 
> leon's guessed durations barely ever added up properly :3c im kinda surprised no one caught that-! or were you just being polite and thinking id messed up? ye of little faith!
> 
> anyway lemme know what you think! i had a lot of fun with this, it honestly could've gone on for ages but all good things must have an end 3


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